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What do you call a cat's Facebook profile picture? A purr-fect snapshot!
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Why did the Facebook user feel like an artist? They were always drawing attention!
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Why was the smartphone jealous of the computer? Because it could only manage a few 'likes'!
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What did the grape say when it got tagged on Facebook? 'Oh, stop it—vine don't need that attention!
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What did the Facebook user say to their phone? 'You're my best friend—always connected!'
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Why did the Facebook user feel rich? Because their feed was filled with 'fortune cookies'!
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Why did the Facebook user bring a ladder? To reach the high notes on their friend's post!
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Why did the Facebook user bring a magnifying glass? To see their old posts more clearly!
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Why was the smartphone bad at making friends on Facebook? It kept losing its contacts!
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Facebook is the only place where you can simultaneously feel connected and completely isolated. You scroll through everyone else's lives, and suddenly, your biggest achievement of the day is that you successfully microwaved leftovers. Take that, world!
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Facebook is where friendships go to be tested. You thought you were close until you saw they didn't like your cat video. Now you're questioning the entire foundation of your relationship: Do they really know me at all?
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You ever notice how every time you open Facebook, it's like entering a virtual circus? It's not just social media; it's a full-blown reality show. I log in, and suddenly, I'm on the front row of the drama arena. Welcome to the Facebook Circus, where relationships are tested, and your aunt becomes a meme!
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I've learned more about human psychology from Facebook than from any college course. It's a crash course in understanding the complexities of the human mind, like decoding cryptic status updates and deciphering passive-aggressive comments. It's like a modern-day Shakespearean drama, but with more emojis.
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Facebook is the only place where you can be friends with someone for years and still not know how to pronounce their last name. I just call them by their profile picture name, like, Hey, it's John Smiling-With-A-Cactus, how's it going?
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I've become a professional Facebook detective. Move over, Sherlock Holmes; I can tell if someone had a breakup just by the change in their profile picture. If they go from couple goals to a solo selfie, it's like, Case closed, Watson! We've got a single on our hands.
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I spend more time on Facebook than I do in my own living room. It's like I have a VIP pass to the theater of other people's lives. You know you're in deep when you find yourself whispering, Shh, the status update is about to begin.
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I don't need a therapist; I have Facebook. It's my daily dose of emotional roller coasters. One moment, I'm laughing at cat videos; the next, I'm shedding tears because someone shared a motivational quote. Thanks, Facebook, for keeping my emotions fit.
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I'm convinced that Facebook is run by a team of professional nosy neighbors. They're just sitting there, sipping coffee, going, Let's see who can spy on the most people today. It's like a high-stakes game of surveillance Scrabble.
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