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The best part is when dads try to sound poetic, saying things like, "Love is like a beautiful garden that needs constant care." And I'm thinking, "Is he giving marriage advice or auditioning for a gardening show?
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You ever notice how father of the bride speeches are like the opening act of a comedy show? The pressure's on, everyone's waiting for the punchline, and if it flops, you've just set the tone for the entire marriage. No pressure, Dad, no pressure at all.
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There's always that awkward moment when the father tries to connect with the groom, saying something like, "Take care of my little girl." And I'm silently praying the groom doesn't respond with, "Don't worry, I've got the receipt for the warranty.
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In the end, we all applaud the father of the bride, not because the speech was perfect, but because we survived it. It's like a collective sigh of relief, realizing we can finally enjoy the reception without worrying about a dad trying to drop more wisdom bombs.
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Fathers love to share embarrassing childhood stories, as if it's a prerequisite for the speech. I'm just waiting for one of them to say, "Remember that time she refused to eat her vegetables? Well, look at her now, marrying a guy who probably still avoids broccoli.
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The emotional rollercoaster of the speech is like a Netflix series condensed into five minutes – laughter, tears, and an overwhelming desire to hit the skip button when it gets too cringe.
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I love how fathers always give advice to the newlyweds, like, "Communication is the key to a successful marriage." Meanwhile, half the guests are nodding in agreement, thinking, "Why didn't someone tell me this before my second divorce?
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You know it's going to be a long speech when the father of the bride starts with, "I remember the first time I held her in my arms." And I'm just sitting there thinking, "I hope he's got the abridged version for the sake of our bladders.
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So, the father of the bride speech is like the Oscars for dads. They've been rehearsing their lines for weeks, hoping to leave the audience in tears. But let's be real – most of us just end up in awkward laughter, wondering if we accidentally stumbled into a stand-up comedy club.
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Fathers always start the speech with "I can't believe this day is finally here." And I'm sitting there thinking, "Yeah, me neither, because I didn't think they'd make it past the first date, let alone to the altar." It's like watching a surprise twist in a rom-com you never saw coming.
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