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Have you ever been in a situation where people are just too encouraging? Like, it's great to have support, but there's a point where it becomes overwhelming. I was having a bad day, and my friend was trying to cheer me up. They were like, "You're amazing! You're unstoppable! You can conquer the world!" I appreciate the enthusiasm, but all I wanted was a sympathetic nod and maybe some chocolate. I don't need a motivational speech; I need a nap.
And then there's the workplace. They're all about encouragement these days. I made a mistake, and my boss said, "It's okay, we all learn from our failures." I'm thinking, "Can we also learn from our successes, like the time I didn't accidentally email the entire company a picture of my cat wearing sunglasses?"
So, let's tone down the encouragement a bit. Sometimes I just want someone to say, "Yeah, that sucks. Want some ice cream?
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Encouragement can be a dangerous thing, especially when it's misdirected. I was at a karaoke night, and I thought, "Why not? I'll sing a song." Big mistake. I picked the longest, most complicated song on the list. As I'm butchering the lyrics and hitting notes only dogs can hear, there's this overly enthusiastic person in the crowd shouting, "You're a rock star! Keep going!" Listen, I appreciate the support, but I'm pretty sure even rock stars would've walked off the stage by now.
Encouragement should come with a manual or, better yet, a mute button. There I am, thinking I'm the next American Idol, and all I hear is, "You're a legend!" I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm pretty sure legends don't clear out karaoke bars.
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You know, I've been trying to get fit lately, and I hired a personal trainer. This guy is the king of encouragement. I walk into the gym, and he's like, "You got this! You're a beast! Lift those weights like they're made of cotton candy!" But here's the thing - I'm pretty sure he's secretly betting with other trainers on whether I'll survive the session. He's cheering me on like it's the Olympics, but deep down, he's probably thinking, "I give him 10 minutes before he's begging for mercy."
And don't get me started on the gym regulars. They're the worst. I'm lifting my measly dumbbells, and they come over, pat me on the back, and go, "You're doing great, buddy!" It's like, thanks for the encouragement, but I'm just trying not to collapse under the weight of my own existence here.
So, if you see me at the gym and feel the need to encourage me, maybe just hand me a donut and say, "You're killing it, champ!
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I recently went to the doctor for a checkup, and the nurse was trying to make small talk. She looks at my chart and goes, "You're doing great! Your blood pressure is perfect, and your cholesterol is low." I'm thinking, "Lady, I'm just here for a flu shot. Save the compliments for when I do something impressive, like folding a fitted sheet." Then the doctor comes in, and he's like, "You're the healthiest patient I've seen all day!" I wanted to say, "Doc, it's 10 AM. How many patients have you even seen?" But instead, I just smiled and nodded.
I appreciate the encouragement, but can we keep it real in the doctor's office? I don't need a pep talk; I need to know if I can eat another donut without clogging an artery.
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