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The most embarrassing moments always happen when you're trying to impress someone. I once tried to impress a date by opening a door for her, and I ended up accidentally smacking myself in the face with it. Smooth, right? It's the new way to say, "I'm available, and also, slightly concussed.
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Ever walk into a room and forget why you're there? Yeah, that's your brain playing hide-and-seek with your dignity. "I swear I had a reason for coming in here... probably something important. Oh well, let me just grab this invisible thing and pretend that was my mission.
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Have you ever waved back at someone, only to realize they were waving at the person behind you? Yeah, it's like, "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your virtual conversation with the invisible ninja behind me.
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Autocorrect has become the unsolicited stand-up comedian of our generation. I sent a message saying, "I'll be there in a sex," instead of "sec." Now, not only am I late, but I've also accidentally proposed a much more interesting alternative.
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I recently tried to play it cool by using the word "literally" in a sentence. But instead of sounding sophisticated, I said, "I am literally the most figuratively confused person right now." So much for my attempt at eloquence.
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I love how we all pretend to check our watches or phones when we're waiting for someone. Like, "Oh, yes, I'm extremely busy and important. I definitely didn't just check the time three seconds ago and now again to avoid eye contact with strangers.
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Have you ever accidentally liked someone's photo while stalking their profile? It's the modern-day equivalent of accidentally butt-dialing someone, but with the added bonus of revealing your secret admirer status. Smooth move, social media detective.
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Remember the good old days when you accidentally called your teacher "mom" in elementary school? Now, as an adult, I accidentally call my boss "mom" in a meeting. Awkward, but hey, maybe it's just a subconscious plea for a raise and a home-cooked meal.
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The embarrassment Olympics should be a thing. I'd have a gold medal for that time I tripped over my own shoelaces in front of a cute barista. It's a real talent, turning a simple walk into an impromptu interpretive dance.
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