18 Jokes For Dumb And Dumber

Puns

Updated on: Aug 29 2024

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Why did the dumber guy bring a pencil to the restaurant? He wanted to 'draw' some attention!
I asked the dumber guy why he wore a belt with a watch. He said, 'For 'waist' of time!
Why did the dumber fellow stare at the can of orange juice? It said 'concentrate'!
Why did the dumb guy bring a spoon to the desert? He wanted to 'dig' the scene!
Why did the dumber one try to throw a clock out the window? They wanted to see time 'fly'!
Why did the dumb guy stare at the carton of orange juice? He was waiting for it to 'concentrate'!
Why did the dumber one bring a ruler to bed? They wanted to see how 'long' they slept!
Why did the dumb duo bring a map to the park? They wanted to 'navigate' their way through a grassy field!
Dumb and Dumber: the saga of my attempts at DIY home repairs. I figured if Bob the Builder could do it, so could I. Let's just say, I now have a new appreciation for professional handymen. And a bigger appreciation for my emergency contact list.
You know you're living 'Dumb and Dumber' when your pet goldfish has a higher IQ than you. I tried teaching it tricks, but it just kept giving me that judgmental fish stare. I'm convinced it's plotting my downfall. Goldfish 1, Human 0.
Dumb and Dumber: the story of my attempt to fix a leaky faucet. I confidently walked into the hardware store, pointed to the plumbing aisle, and said, 'I need something to make water not come out.' The clerk just handed me a picture of a plumber and said, 'Good luck.'
Dumb and Dumber: Is that a movie title or my GPS when I miss a turn? It's like my navigation system is trying to give me a life lesson – 'You missed your exit, congratulations, you just joined the cast of Dumb and Dumber!'
You ever notice how 'Dumb and Dumber' perfectly describes my relationship with technology? I mean, I thought 'Bluetooth' was just a dental condition until last year. Now my phone and I have this silent agreement to disagree on what 'sync' means.
Dumb and Dumber: It's not just a movie, it's also my morning routine. I spent a good five minutes looking for my glasses yesterday, only to realize I was already wearing them. In my defense, they're pretty lightweight – it's easy to forget they're there... on my face.
I tried to impress my friends by joining a trivia night. The topic? Classic movies. I thought 'Dumb and Dumber' was a documentary about my college years, but apparently, it's a comedy film. Who knew? Not me, obviously.
Dumb and Dumber: the story of my attempt to become a gourmet chef. I followed the recipe meticulously, but when it said to 'fold in the egg whites,' I assumed they meant literally folding them in half. The result? A soufflé that looked more like a defeated pancake. Bon appétit, or as I like to say, 'Oops, I did it again!'
I recently tried to assemble a piece of IKEA furniture, and let me tell you, 'Dumb and Dumber' suddenly felt like a documentary about my struggle with an Allen wrench. The instructions might as well have been written in hieroglyphics – or a secret code only decipherable by Swedish furniture gods.
Dating can be like 'Dumb and Dumber.' I once tried impressing a date by cooking dinner. Turns out, 'oven-ready' doesn't mean 'ready to eat.' The smoke alarm's applause was louder than my date's, but at least my apartment smelled like victory, or possibly a small kitchen fire.

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