bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever notice how we're all self-diagnosing these days? "Down with the sickness" has a whole new meaning in the age of the internet. I go online, type in a few symptoms, and suddenly I have a rare tropical disease only found in albino sloths living on a remote island. I'm convinced Google is just messing with us. You type in a headache, and it suggests brain surgery. "Hey Google, I have a paper cut." Google's response: "Amputate your arm immediately." It's like, thanks for the advice, Dr. Google, but I think I'll stick with my regular doctor and avoid unnecessary amputations.
0
0
Down with the sickness" also means the classic sick day excuse, right? We've all been there, calling in to work, trying to sound as pitiful as possible. You know it's serious when you can add a few fake sniffles to your voice. But the tricky part is choosing the right illness. You can't go too mild or too severe. "Hi, boss, I can't make it in today; I have a hangnail" won't cut it. On the other hand, "I'm sorry, but I'm currently experiencing explosive alien chest-bursting syndrome" might be a bit much. It's all about finding that perfect balance, like, "I've got a touch of the sniffles, boss. Definitely not faking. Cough, cough. Can't risk spreading it to the entire office, you know?
0
0
Hey, everybody! So, my ghostwriter gave me this note: "down with the sickness." And I thought, "Well, that's a bit dramatic, but let's roll with it." You know, being down with the sickness feels like being in a rock song, right? Like, "Ooh, ah, ah, ah!" That's my sick person impression. But seriously, when I'm sick, I just want sympathy and chicken noodle soup, not a heavy metal soundtrack. Can you imagine going to the doctor, and they diagnose you with the common cold while playing some hardcore metal in the background? "Doc, can we dial down the intensity? I just have a runny nose, not a mosh pit in my sinuses!
0
0
Being "down with the sickness" means a trip to the pharmacy, right? You walk in, and it's like entering a candy store for adults, but instead of candy, it's a wall of medication. And why are they all named like they're characters in a fantasy novel? "Introducing Sir Claritin, defender of nasal passages!" I just want something that works without a side effect list longer than a Shakespearean play. You ever notice they always have those commercials with happy people frolicking in fields while the voiceover is listing off potential side effects? "May cause dizziness, nausea, hallucinations of pink elephants, and sudden urge to yodel." Like, thanks, but I'll stick to my congested misery and avoid the risk of turning into a one-person circus.
Post a Comment