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I tried to divide my attention between two streaming shows last night. Now I have the plot of a romantic comedy mixed with a sci-fi apocalypse, and honestly, I don't know if the world needs a love story set during an alien invasion.
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It's funny how vacations are supposed to bring us together, but deciding on activities divides us faster than a game of tug-of-war with a rubber chicken.
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When it comes to chores at home, dividing them up is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. You think you've got it, but then you realize someone's still stuck with cleaning the bathroom.
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Have you noticed how birthday parties for twins are just one big cake, but as soon as it comes to presents, suddenly everything has to be divided equally? "Sorry, Timmy, one sock for you, one sock for Jimmy.
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The internet has this magical power to divide us all. I mean, remember when cat videos were the universal language? Now, you've got people feuding over whether a hotdog is a sandwich or not.
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Relationships these days are like trying to divide a pizza into equal slices. You start off with good intentions, but somehow, someone always ends up with the smaller half and a lot of resentment.
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I once tried to divide a pack of gum among friends, and let's just say it turned into a heated debate worthy of a courtroom drama. "Exhibit A: My breath after lunch!
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Have you ever been in a group chat where making plans divides the group faster than a magician making a rabbit disappear? "Who's in for brunch?" Silence. "How about dinner?" Still nothing. But send one meme, and suddenly everyone's awake and chiming in.
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Trying to split a bill at a restaurant feels like I'm on a reality show called "Math Survivor." Everyone's suddenly a mathematician, figuring out who owes what and who had that extra appetizer.
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