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Why did the dice clay become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to 'shake up' the audience!
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Why did the dice clay refuse to play poker? It didn't want to 'gamble' with its reputation!
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Why did the dice clay go to comedy school? To refine its 'rolling' performance!
Dice Clay's Nursery Rhyme Remix
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I caught Dice Clay remixing nursery rhymes. Instead of 'Jack and Jill went up the hill,' it's 'Jack and Jill went up the hill, but Dice, he went and did something that I can't repeat here.
Dice Clay's Calendar
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You ever notice how Andrew Dice Clay must have the weirdest calendar? Mondays: Hickory Dickory Dock. Tuesdays: Little Miss Muffet. I mean, who knew nursery rhymes had such a tight schedule?
Dice Clay's Cooking Show
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Andrew Dice Clay has a cooking show now. Yeah, he's teaching us how to make 'Hickory Dickory Dumplings.' But let me tell you, the secret ingredient is definitely not mother goose-approved.
Dice Clay's Yoga Class
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Dice Clay started a yoga class. Downward dog? Nah, he's more into 'Downward Dirty.' His signature move? The inappropriate stretch.
Dice Clay's Therapy Session
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I heard Andrew Dice Clay is in therapy. Can you imagine his therapist trying to analyze him? So, Dice, when you said 'Oh!' did you mean you're repressing childhood trauma or just trying to find a word that rhymes with 'blow'?
Dice Clay's Animal Impressions
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You heard about Dice's new career doing animal impressions, right? Yeah, he does a mean rooster. It goes something like, Oh! Wake up, you know, oh!
Dice Clay's Haunted House
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Andrew Dice Clay opened a haunted house. You walk in, and all you hear is, Oh! The ghost of your dating life past!
Dice Clay's Parenting Tips
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He's even giving parenting tips now. When your kid asks where babies come from, just say, 'Oh! It's like a nursery rhyme, but with less rhyme and more awkward conversations!'
Dice Clay's GPS Voice
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Imagine if Andrew Dice Clay was the voice of your GPS. Yo, take a left, oh! You'd never miss a turn, but your GPS might need a censor button.
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