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You know how they give you those estimated delivery windows? "Your package will arrive between 8 am and 8 pm." That's basically a whole day! It's like playing a game of hide and seek with your own stuff. And let me tell you, I always lose that game. I'm sitting there, chained to my house, afraid to step away for even a moment, because the minute I do, I'll get that notification saying they attempted delivery. It's like a game of chicken – who will crack first, me or the delivery guy? It's a race against time, and I'm not talking about the shipping time; I'm talking about how long my bladder can hold out.
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Have you ever received a package and had to decipher the delivery guy's attempt at leaving a note? I got a message the other day that said, "Left your parcel under the green thing." What green thing? I live in a neighborhood with more green things than a leprechaun's dreams! So, I'm outside, playing detective, examining every shrub, plant, and lawn gnome like it's a crime scene. And then, after an hour of searching, I find it – the mysterious green thing. Turns out, it was a garden gnome wearing a green hat. I swear, delivery drivers are turning us into suburban scavenger hunters.
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You ever order something online, and then you're just waiting for that delivery driver like they're the hero of the day? I'm sitting there, tracking the guy like he's my personal Santa Claus. "He's three stops away! Two stops! Oh, he's so close, I can almost taste my own impatience!" And then, when he finally arrives, it's like a scene from an action movie. The doorbell rings, and I'm ready to grab that package like it's the last piece of pizza in a room full of hungry teenagers. But here's the kicker – half the time, they give you this look like you're inconveniencing them. Dude, I didn't force you into the delivery driver career; you chose this life of package peril!
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Have you noticed that delivery drivers have become the ninjas of the modern era? I swear, they can drop off a package without making a sound. It's like they're trained in the art of silent deliveries. You blink, and suddenly your package is at the door. It's like a magic trick, but instead of a rabbit, you get a box of snacks and a new pair of shoes. I had a delivery guy the other day; he must have taken lessons from James Bond or something. I open the door, and there it is – the package, sitting there like it just ninja'd its way into my life. I half-expected the delivery guy to materialize out of thin air and give me a secret agent nod, like, "You didn't see anything, mate.
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