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Pride, the deadliest of the deadly sins. We've all experienced the awkward moment when you confidently walk into a room, thinking it's a pull door, only to realize it's a push door. Pride shattered, dignity in the gutter.
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Have you ever committed the deadly sin of greed at a buffet? You load up your plate like you're preparing for a culinary apocalypse. The waiter looks at you like, "Are you sure you're not a competitive eater in disguise?
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Sloth, another deadly sin. Netflix has turned sloth into an art form. The other day, I binge-watched an entire series in one sitting. My couch now has a permanent imprint of my body, like some kind of sloth crime scene.
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Let's talk about the deadly sin of envy. Social media has turned envy into a competitive sport. You scroll through Instagram, and suddenly your neighbor's vacation photos make you question your life choices. "Wow, Brenda, way to make my weekend Target run seem like a trip to the seventh circle of hell.
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Wrath, the fifth deadly sin. Ever get so angry at your GPS for taking you on a wild detour that you start questioning its life choices? "Really, Karen? Left turn into traffic? I thought we were friends!
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Wrath can strike at the most unexpected times. Like when you're trying to open a stubborn bag of chips, and it just won't tear open. Suddenly, you're in a battle with a bag of potato chips, and your wrath knows no bounds. "Why do you hate me, bag? What did I ever do to you?
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Lust, the classic deadly sin. Dating apps these days make it feel like a buffet of potential partners. Swipe right for love, swipe left for "I hope you find someone who can tolerate your weird obsession with cat memes.
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You ever notice how procrastination is the eighth deadly sin? I mean, come on, it's right up there with wrath and greed. You know you're guilty when you start negotiating with yourself, like, "I'll do it tomorrow, but I promise I'll do a really good job tomorrow.
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Greed, the third deadly sin. Black Friday shopping is the Olympics of greed. People fighting over discounted toasters like it's the last lifeboat on the Titanic. "Step back, Susan! That toaster is mine!
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