4 Jokes For Cooper

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: May 28 2025

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Hey, everybody! So, the other day, I found myself in a classic Cooper conundrum. You know, Cooper – that one friend who always has the worst timing. I'm pretty sure Cooper's internal clock is set to inconvenience-o'clock.
I was at a coffee shop, trying to impress this potential date with my deep knowledge of indie films. Things were going well, and then bam! Cooper walks in, looking like a tornado hit him. I mean, who shows up with spaghetti stains on their shirt and a story about chasing their runaway cat right in the middle of a romantic conversation? Cooper, that's who!
I tried to salvage the situation, but my date was more interested in Cooper's cat-astrophe than my film recommendations. Thanks, Cooper, for turning my attempt at romance into a feline sideshow.
You ever notice how some people shouldn't be allowed near technology? Cooper is the living embodiment of that statement. I made the mistake of letting Cooper be the navigator on a road trip once, and let me tell you, it was a journey into the unknown.
Cooper's GPS voice was like having a sarcastic teenager directing us. "In 500 feet, turn left. Or don't, whatever. It's your life." I'm pretty sure Cooper's GPS has a PhD in passive aggression.
We ended up in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields and confused cows. Cooper just shrugged and said, "Well, the GPS said it's a shortcut." Note to self: never trust a shortcut suggested by Cooper. It's like playing Russian roulette with road maps.
You know, I tried to organize a surprise party once. Emphasis on "tried." Cooper decided to be helpful and spread the word, but, of course, got the date wrong. So, instead of a surprise party, I got a bunch of confused friends showing up at my place a week early.
Cooper's defense? "Well, I figured people like surprises, so why not surprise them a bit earlier?" Brilliant, Cooper, just brilliant. Now I have to come up with another surprise for the actual party, like a magician pulling tricks out of thin air. Thanks for turning my birthday into a week-long celebration, Cooper.
Cooking with Cooper should be a reality show – "Kitchen Catastrophes with Cooper." I made the mistake of letting Cooper help in the kitchen once, and it was like a culinary crime scene.
Cooper decided to get creative and add exotic spices to a simple spaghetti dish. Let me tell you, curry and oregano do not belong in the same pot. It was an assault on my taste buds. I thought I was eating spaghetti, but it tasted like a failed science experiment.
Cooper's philosophy: "Cooking is an art, and I'm the avant-garde Picasso of the kitchen." Picasso didn't use cumin in his paintings, Cooper. Just saying.

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