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Underappreciated Office Worker
Your coworker just got a big promotion, and you're trying to congratulate them while hiding the fact that you're contemplating stapling your own resume to your boss's forehead.
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They say hard work pays off. Congrats to my coworker for proving that. Meanwhile, my hard work is paying off in the form of a steadily growing collection of office snacks.
Failed Diet Enthusiast
Your friend successfully lost a ton of weight, and you're trying to congratulate them while simultaneously questioning the life choices that led to your persistent muffin top.
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My friend just hit their weight loss goal. Meanwhile, I just hit snooze on my morning workout alarm for the third time. I guess we're both achieving something.
Unlucky in Love Friend
Your perpetually single friend just got engaged, and you're trying to be happy for them while also questioning the life choices that led to your own single status.
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So my friend is getting married. I guess love is like a game of hide and seek, and my love life is just really committed to hiding.
Proud Parent of an Overachiever
Your child just graduated at the top of their class, and you're trying to congratulate them while silently hoping they also excel at teaching you how to use your smartphone.
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They say parenting is a tough job. Well, congrats to me for raising a genius. Meanwhile, I'm still struggling to assemble IKEA furniture without the help of a YouTube tutorial.
Overachieving Sibling
Your sibling just won an award, and you're trying to congratulate them while secretly nursing your jealousy.
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Congrats to my sibling for winning "Best in Show." Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for the day someone recognizes my talent in binge-watching entire seasons in one sitting.
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