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I bought a color-changing LED light bulb, thinking it would be a cool party trick. Turns out, it's just a mood ring for my room. It's like, "Oh, the lights are red. I must be angry about something I can't remember.
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Have you ever tried finding the exact same color shirt you already own? It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, but the haystack is a mall, and the needle is a shirt you bought three years ago and can't let go of. "No, this blue is not the same as that blue!
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I tried explaining the concept of camouflage to my chameleon, but he just looked at me like I was an idiot. I guess in the chameleon world, blending in is not a fashion statement, it's a survival skill. I should've known, I mean, he's been doing it his whole life.
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Why do they call it "midnight blue"? Does it only come out at midnight? I bought a midnight blue shirt once and wore it during the day. People looked at me like I was breaking some sort of color curfew. "It's noon, buddy, you can't wear midnight blue now!
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The most stressful part of adulthood is matching socks. You stand there, looking at a pile of colorful chaos, desperately trying to find two socks that are on speaking terms. And don't even get me started on the elusive missing sock. It's like a silent protest against doing laundry.
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Painting a room is like choosing a personality for your walls. "This wall is going to be adventurous and outgoing, while that one over there will be calm and collected." I just hope my walls don't start gossiping about each other.
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Paint swatches are like the Tinder profiles of the home improvement world. You stand there, swiping left on "Boring Beige" and hoping for a passionate match with "Electric Raspberry." I just want a color that won't judge me when I spill my coffee.
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You ever notice how they have, like, a million shades of white at the paint store? I walked in thinking, "I just need white," but suddenly, I felt like I was choosing a name for my firstborn. "Cloud Whisper" or "Angel's Sigh," decisions, decisions.
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Who decided that highlighter yellow is the official color of safety vests? I feel like construction workers are walking around in highlighter cosplay. "Caution, we're not just building, we're also making a fashion statement.
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