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You ever notice how the snooze button on an alarm clock is like a time machine? You hit it, and suddenly, you're 10 minutes in the future, regretting every decision you made in the past.
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Trying to find matching socks is like going on a quest. I opened my sock drawer the other day, and it felt like I was choosing my character for the day – mismatched adventurer it is!
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Have you ever tried to quietly open a bag of candy during a movie? It's like trying to perform surgery with a chainsaw. The crinkling noise should come with a spoiler alert.
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Why do we always assume a dropped phone is going to be shattered? It's like we're all secretly training for the Olympic gymnastics team with our ninja reflexes and quick saves.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. Class 6 adulting, right there! Move over, new gadgets – I've got a new scrubber in town.
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You ever notice how opening a bag of chips is like defusing a bomb? I mean, one wrong move and boom, the whole room knows you're snacking.
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Does anyone else talk to their GPS even though it can't hear you? "Yes, Karen, I know I missed the turn. Stop recalculating with that judgmental tone. You're not my mom.
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Why do we call it a "shortcut" when it usually takes twice as long? I took a shortcut the other day, ended up in Narnia, had tea with a faun, and missed my dentist appointment.
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You ever notice how a self-checkout machine turns into a judgmental parent when you're scanning items too slowly? "Are you sure you want that chocolate? Maybe you should eat a salad.
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