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Ever notice how a group of people chanting can make anything sound important? Like, they could be chanting the ingredients on a cereal box, and suddenly it becomes the most epic grocery store experience ever.
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I recently attended a yoga class where the instructor started a chant. I didn't realize "Ommmm" was a chant until everyone else started doing it. Now, I'm just sitting there like, "Am I the only one who got the 'silent meditation' memo?
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I love how sports fans believe that chanting for their team actually makes a difference. Like, "Yeah, guys, keep chanting 'defense' from the nosebleed section – I'm sure the quarterback can totally hear you over there!
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Chants are like the original hashtags. I can imagine ancient civilizations sitting around a fire, chanting about their day, and some wise elder going, "Make sure you add that to the cave wall with a good hashtag, Grug. It'll go viral.
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The only time I join in on a chant is when it involves food delivery. "What do we want?" "Pizza!" "When do we want it?" "Now!" That's a cause I'm willing to rally behind, folks.
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One of the most nerve-wracking moments in school was when the teacher asked you to lead the class in a chant. You're standing there, feeling the pressure, like, "If I mess this up, I'll be known as the kid who couldn't even chant correctly.
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The most intense chanting happens in supermarkets when the cashier announces they're opening a new register. It's like a sudden burst of competitive shopping spirit. "One, two, three, checkout race! May the fastest shopper win!
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You know you're getting old when your idea of a wild Friday night is staying in and trying to remember the lyrics to the chants from your high school pep rallies. "Give me a C! Give me an A! Give me an N... wait, what was the rest?
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I tried to start a morning chant to motivate myself to get out of bed earlier. It goes something like, "Get up, get dressed, coffee, survive." Spoiler alert: It hasn't worked yet.
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