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Have you ever noticed that the more items you put on your grocery list, the heavier the shopping cart feels? I mean, it's like pushing a cart is some kind of workout, and I didn't even sign up for the grocery store gym membership!
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Why do we press the elevator button multiple times as if it's going to speed up the process? "Come on, elevator, I've got places to be!" It's not a turbo boost; it's just making everyone else in the elevator nervous.
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You ever notice that the most productive time of day is the one right before you have to go to bed? Suddenly you're a productivity ninja at 11 pm, solving world problems and organizing your sock drawer. It's like your brain is powered by a nocturnal work ethic.
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Why is it that the moment you decide to take a shortcut, your GPS suddenly becomes a backseat driver? "In 500 feet, make a U-turn if you want to maintain your sanity." Thanks, GPS, but I'm committed to this questionable shortcut!
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Isn't it strange how we treat our smartphones like newborn babies? We cradle them, panic when they fall, and check on them in the middle of the night. "Sleep well, my precious iPhone, may your battery life be long.
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You ever go to a coffee shop, and they ask for your name to write on the cup? I feel like I'm in a spelling bee every time. "It's John, J-O-H-N, like every other John in the world. No, I don't want to buy a vowel!
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Isn't it funny how the most exciting part of owning a dishwasher is watching it work? I stand there like I'm at a magic show, going, "Look at that, it's cleaning without my help! What a time to be alive!
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Ever notice that your bed is more comfortable when you have to get out of it in the morning? It's like the mattress is whispering, "Stay, my friend, you don't need a job. We can Netflix and chill all day.
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Why do we press the remote control buttons harder when we know the batteries are low? It's like we're trying to send a telepathic message to the TV, saying, "Come on, I believe in you! Just one more episode!
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