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The Butterfly Fashionista
Trying to convince the world that butterfly wings should be the next big fashion trend.
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Tried convincing my friends to join the butterfly fashion movement. They said, "But what if people step on the wings?" I replied, "Then we'll just call it the crushed-velvet look. It's avant-garde, darling.
The Butterfly Whisperer
Trying to convince people that butterflies are secretly plotting world domination.
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Went to the park the other day, saw a butterfly land on a flower. Looked innocent, right? Wrong! It was a secret meeting, discussing strategies. I overheard one say, "First, the flowers, then the world!" I had to leave before I became a witness.
The Butterfly Matchmaker
When your job is to pair butterflies together, but you realize your own love life is as chaotic as a butterfly mating dance.
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Tried speed dating once. Didn't work for me. Butterflies, on the other hand, have mastered the art of speed dating. They see a potential partner, do a few fancy flips, and if it's a match, off they go into the sunset. Meanwhile, I'm still struggling to make small talk.
The Butterfly Scientist
When you're a butterfly scientist but you're terrified of butterflies.
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I tried therapy to conquer my fear of butterflies. Therapist said, "Picture them in their larval stage, as caterpillars." Great advice until I realized caterpillars turn into butterflies. Now, I'm just afraid of a faster, more determined enemy.
The Butterfly Parent
Dealing with the awkward moment when your child brings home a butterfly as a pet.
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Took my kid to show-and-tell. Other parents brought dogs, cats, even a snake. My kid? A butterfly. Teacher said, "It's beautiful!" I said, "Yeah, until it decides it's too good for elementary school and makes a break for it.
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