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People often have these stereotypes about blind people, especially about their other senses compensating. Someone once said to me, "Wow, you're blind? Can you, like, hear a pin drop from a mile away?" No, but I can hear your sarcasm from a block away! But let me tell you, being blind doesn't stop people from assuming I have superhuman abilities. I had a guy once ask, "So, if you're blind, do you see, like, total darkness?" And I'm like, "No, Kevin, I see in 4D; I can see your future." Trust me, it's not as exciting as it sounds.
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You ever meet someone who assumes a blind person's every day is just like a blockbuster movie? "Oh, you're blind? So, like, you have a sixth sense, right?" No, Brenda, I can't predict the stock market; I can't see! It's interesting though, being around a blind person. People often try to help a blind person, but they end up confusing the heck out of them. I saw a lady at a crosswalk trying to assist a blind woman. She's like, "Excuse me, miss, can I help you cross the road?" The blind lady replies, "Oh no, thank you, I'm waiting for my seeing-eye dog." Then the lady says, "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize, I'll wait with you." Now, that's helpful... but not really.
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So, there's this thing about blind people and dating that people just can't wrap their heads around. I told my friend I went on a blind date, and they're like, "Wait, but how did that work? Did you describe your outfit?" No, Dave, it's not a fashion show! It's a setup where you meet someone you don't know. Although, come to think of it, that might actually be a cool idea: "Blind Date Fashion Edition"! We could have blindfolded judges, "Today, contestant number three is rocking an amazing polka-dot ensemble!" But seriously, dating as a blind person has its challenges. You try to be charming, but sometimes your other senses get in the way. You lean in for a kiss, and instead of smelling their perfume, you're like, "Is that garlic bread I smell?
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Navigating the world as a blind person can be an adventure. Sometimes people try to be helpful, which is nice, but it can also backfire spectacularly. I had a well-meaning lady approach me and say, "Hey, do you need help finding something?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm looking for the exit." And she replies, "Oh, just look for the sign above the door!" Ah, yes, because my eyes sprout when I'm near an exit sign! But honestly, sometimes I mess with people just a little bit. I'll walk up to a group of friends, pretend I can see, and say, "You're not going to believe what I just saw!" And watch their faces go from confused to utterly bewildered. It's the little joys in life, folks.
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