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You know, I was at the store the other day, trying to figure out my life in the snack aisle. And there it was, the humble biscuit. Now, don't get me wrong, I love biscuits, but they're confusing, man. They're like the existential crisis of the baked goods world. You look at them, and you're like, "Am I a cookie? Am I bread? What's my purpose in life?" I mean, cookies have that sweet, delightful personality. Bread is all about substance and reliability. But biscuits? They're caught in this identity crisis. Are they the sidekick to gravy or the star of the show? I don't know, but they need some therapy or something.
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Have you ever noticed that biscuits are rebels in the oven? I mean, you put them in all nice and neat, and you close the oven door, thinking you have everything under control. But no! Biscuits are like, "You're not the boss of me!" They start expanding and puffing up like they're training for the dough Olympics. I opened my oven the other day, and it was like a biscuit uprising in there. They were rebelliously touching each other, merging into some kind of biscuit alliance. I tried to separate them, but they were like, "Nope, we're sticking together, just like dough siblings.
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I think biscuits need a support group. Imagine a circle of biscuits sitting there, pouring out their doughy hearts to each other. "I just feel so lost. Am I a breakfast item or a midnight snack? And why does everyone always dunk me in coffee? I'm not a swimming pool, people!" I can picture it now – support group sessions for biscuits, where they share their innermost thoughts. "Hi, my name is Bob the Biscuit, and I've been struggling with my flakiness." And the group responds, "Hi, Bob!
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Let's talk about the layers of a biscuit. You ever look at a biscuit and think, "Wow, this is more complex than my last relationship"? I mean, they're all about those layers – flaky, buttery, and just a hint of existential crisis. It's like they're trying to teach us some life lesson: be as layered as a biscuit, and you'll be golden. And why do they call it flaky? If someone described me as flaky, I'd be offended, but for a biscuit, it's a compliment. "Oh, you're so flaky and delicious!" Why don't we use that for people? "Hey, Jim, you're looking flaky today!" Maybe not the best idea.
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