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You know you're an adult when your idea of a gourmet meal is upgrading from gas station beef jerky to the premium, fancy jerky at the grocery store. "Ah, yes, tonight we dine like kings – with artisanal jerky.
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Have you ever tried to share beef jerky with someone? It's like engaging in a medieval sword fight. "I'll take a piece, you take a piece, and let's hope no one loses a finger in the process.
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You know you're desperate for a snack when you reach the point of considering gas station beef jerky. It's the culinary equivalent of rolling the dice and hoping you don't get a stomachache.
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You ever notice how beef jerky is the only food that gets tougher the longer it's been sitting out? It's like, "Oh, you didn't finish me within 10 minutes? Tough luck, now I'm a jawbreaker.
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Why is it that beef jerky is always so expensive? It's like, "Hey, do you want a small bag of dehydrated meat or a filet mignon?" Because they both cost about the same.
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Beef jerky is like the marathon runner of snacks. It's dry, tough, and you need a gallon of water just to wash it down. I feel like I need to hydrate for a week after eating a piece.
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Beef jerky is the only snack that doubles as a dental workout. If you've got a weak jaw, just start munching on some jerky, and you'll be ready to crush walnuts in no time.
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Beef jerky packaging is like a Rubik's Cube for hungry people. I'm over here trying to decode this puzzle just to get to my dried-up meat fix.
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Have you ever noticed how beef jerky is like the unsolicited advice of snacks? It's always there when you least expect it, and you're never quite sure if you actually wanted it in the first place.
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