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Joke Types
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, and the competition was bawful!
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Why did the onion bring a tissue to the party? It knew it would make everyone bawl.
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Why did the baby strawberry start crying? Because its parents were in a jam.
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now I'm a bawlerina!
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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved. Then they both started bawling.
Bawling and Shopping
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You ever notice how department stores have those really reflective floors? I went shopping the other day, and I couldn't tell if I was picking out a new pair of shoes or auditioning for a part in a sad music video. I mean, come on, I just wanted sneakers, not an emotional breakdown!
Bawling in Reverse
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You ever try to stifle a sneeze and it comes out as a weird bawl? Yeah, that's a special kind of talent. I call it reverse bawling. People look at you like you just morphed into a human accordion. It's not a sob, it's a sneeze gone rogue!
Bawling and Technology
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I tried the latest dating app, and the matches were so disappointing that I ended up bawling into my phone. Now, whenever I unlock it, the facial recognition thinks I'm having a meltdown. Siri even suggested a therapy app. Thanks, but I just wanted a date, not a virtual intervention!
Bawling and Dating
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Dating is a lot like bawling. You start off thinking it's going to be this beautiful, romantic experience, and then you end up in a puddle of tears wondering where it all went wrong. Maybe I should start putting expert in emotional waterworks on my dating profile.
Bawling and the Weather
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I heard they're naming a new weather phenomenon after me. Forget rain or shine, we're entering the era of bawlstorms. It's when the weather matches your emotional state perfectly. You step outside, and suddenly it starts pouring. It's like the universe is saying, I feel you, buddy.
Bawling and Sleep
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Ever wake up from a weird dream, and you're just lying there bawling over the fact that your subconscious is more creative than your waking life? Yeah, welcome to my nightly sob-fest. I'm considering selling tickets. Who needs therapy when you can profit from your own emotional turmoil?
Bawling Olympics
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I recently participated in the Bawling Olympics. You know, where you compete to see who can cry the loudest over life's smallest inconveniences. I took home the gold when I realized I forgot my coffee at home. My neighbors probably thought I was auditioning for a part in a soap opera.
Bawling and Gym
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I signed up for a new fitness class called Cardio Bawl. It's not what you think. It's just me on a treadmill watching romantic comedies. The tears add an extra level of resistance. I figure if I'm going to cry, I might as well burn some calories while doing it.
Bawling at Movies
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Why is it that people in movies cry so beautifully? I tried it once, and I looked like a deflating balloon. There's no graceful way to bawl your eyes out. Hollywood has been lying to us, folks. I want a refund on my emotions!
Bawling and Cooking
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I attempted to make a fancy recipe I found online. Turns out, it required skills I don't possess. I ended up burning the dish and bawling in the kitchen. Now my smoke alarm has trust issues, and my microwave won't look me in the eye. Cooking disasters are a real tearjerker.
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