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Why did the aunt become a gardener? She had a natural talent for 'aunt'-ing plants.
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Why did the aunt bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
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I asked my aunt if she could spell ICUP. She proudly replied, 'I see you pee!
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Why did the aunt bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did the aunt bring a pencil to the family reunion? To draw attention!
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My aunt is convinced that the key to happiness is knitting. She's been trying to knit me a sweater for the last decade. At this rate, I'll have a collection of scarves before I get a sweater!
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Aunt, the only person who still sends handwritten letters. I got one last week – turns out she thinks emojis are a new form of hieroglyphics!
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Aunt Bertha is a great cook, but she's a bit old-fashioned. She still measures ingredients using 'a pinch of this' and 'a dash of that.' Last time, I ended up with a cake that tasted like confusion and a touch of regret!
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My aunt believes in the healing power of crystals. I gave her a piece of quartz, and she said it would bring harmony to my life. I placed it next to my TV remote, and now my remote control works from the neighbor's house!
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I told my aunt about my job as a stand-up comedian. She said, 'Oh dear, you should find a stable profession like accounting.' Yeah, because everyone loves a good tax return joke at parties!
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Aunt Mildred tried to set me up on a blind date. She said, 'He's a nice young man, works in insurance.' Turns out, 'nice' meant 'owns an impressive stamp collection' and 'works in insurance' meant 'lives with his mom.'
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I asked my aunt if she's on social media. She said, 'Social what? Is that a new flavor of tea?' I guess for her, the only 'post' is the one she hangs on the wall!
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Aunt Edna insisted on giving me fashion advice. She said, 'Darling, you need to embrace retro.' Now I'm walking around looking like I belong in a museum exhibit titled 'Fashion Fails of the 80s.'
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My aunt is into extreme couponing. She invited me to go grocery shopping with her. I've never felt so alive while arguing with a cashier over a 25-cent discount on canned soup!
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