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Joke Types
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Why did the basketball player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
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Why did the track coach carry a ladder? Because he wanted to train the high jumpers!
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Why did the swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? To reach the new heights!
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Why did the football team go to the bakery? They needed a good turnover!
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Why was the athlete so good at math? Because he knew how to use his muscles!
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Superhero Syndrome
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You ever notice how athletes always have these superhero-like names? The Flash, Rocket Man, Speed Demon. I tried it once at work, introduced myself as Keyboard Kicker. HR wasn't impressed. I guess typing fast doesn't count as a sport.
Spectator Sport
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I love watching sports, especially the intricate rituals athletes have before a game. The stretches, the warm-ups. I tried doing that before starting my day once. My cat gave me the weirdest look, like I'd lost my mind. Maybe she's onto something.
Sports Conspiracy
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I have a theory that athletes invented sports just to get out of doing chores. Imagine telling your mom, Sorry, can't clean my room, Mom. I have a crucial game of 'Put the Ball in the Basket' with the guys.
Track and Field of Dreams
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I never understood the fascination with running track. The only time I run is when my phone battery is at 1%, and I'm two rooms away from the charger. Athletes, on the other hand, treat running like it's a spiritual journey. My spiritual journey is from the couch to the fridge.
Late-Night Olympics
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I've discovered a new sport – the Midnight Snacking Marathon. Athletes, take notes. I'm going for gold in the Eating Chips While Trying Not to Wake Anyone Up category. It's a risky sport, but the rewards are delicious!
The Water Bottle Conundrum
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Athletes are so hydrated; they carry around those huge water bottles everywhere. I tried it at the office, and my coworkers asked if I was starting a new religion based on the holy water jug. Praise be to H2O, the elixir of hydration!
Game of Groans
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You know, I've been thinking about athletes, and I realized they're the only people who get upset about running in circles. I mean, you never hear a marathon runner say, I love the view of this same tree for the 26th time!
Sports Injuries
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Athletes are brave. They face injuries head-on, and I respect that. Meanwhile, I once pulled a muscle reaching for the TV remote. I call it couch potato strain. I'm still waiting for the sympathy cards.
Gym Wisdom
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I tried working out once. I looked at the treadmill, and it looked back at me. We had a moment. Then I realized, athletes are the only people who pay money to run in one place. It's like they're training for the apocalypse, where the only skill you need is running from commitment.
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