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Ari the Tech Guru
Ari's struggle with technology
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Ari tried to impress me with his tech skills. He said, "I can make my own ringtone." I listened, and it was just him saying, "You've got a call." I said, "Ari, that's not a ringtone; that's a voicemail.
Ari the Barber
Ari's struggle with understanding modern hairstyles
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Ari's got this new technique for cutting hair, he calls it the "Instagram Filter Fade." It makes your hair look better online than it does in real life. I walked out of there thinking, "Do I tip him in cash or Instagram likes?
Ari the Matchmaker
Ari's attempts at setting up friends on dates
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Ari tried to play matchmaker for me and said, "I found someone who's just your type." Turns out, his idea of my type is someone who laughs at his jokes. Well played, Ari, well played.
Ari the Fitness Guru
Ari's unconventional approach to fitness
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Ari's idea of a workout routine is lifting the TV remote during commercial breaks. He calls it "Interval Channel Surfing." I asked him when the actual exercise part starts, and he said, "Right after this episode.
Ari the Chef
Ari's attempts at mastering gourmet cooking
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Ari invited me for a dinner party. He served something that looked like a masterpiece. I asked him what it was, and he said, "It's an avant-garde dish called 'Leftovers Surprise.' The surprise is you won't recognize any of it.
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