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I was at the zoo the other day, and I overheard two monkeys chatting. One says, "Hey, it's my birthday today!" The other one replies, "Really? I thought every day was Groundhog Day for us. No offense, Groundhog.
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I tried singing "Happy Birthday" to my turtle, but it just retreated into its shell. I guess it's not a fan of surprise parties. Or maybe it's just annoyed with my singing. Can't blame it, really.
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Animals don't need birthdays; they've got a natural talent for celebrating life every day. My cat, for example, throws a party every morning at 3 AM. It's called "Let's Knock Everything Off the Shelf and See What Breaks Fiesta.
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Ever notice how animals don't need birthday presents? If you gave a dog a gift, it would be like, "Wow, thanks for the squeaky toy, but did you bring me any snacks? No? I'm not interested.
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You ever notice how animals don't celebrate birthdays? I mean, imagine a dog trying to blow out candles on a cake – more like setting the kitchen on fire. "Make a wish, Fido, but not the wish for a lifetime supply of chew toys, we've had enough of those!
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My pet snake doesn't celebrate birthdays; it just sheds its skin every year. It's like a built-in "New Year, New Me" resolution. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to stick to my gym routine.
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I tried throwing a birthday party for my cat once. The invitations said, "You're invited to a purr-fect celebration!" Turns out, the cat was the only one who got the memo. It was just me and Mr. Whiskers wearing party hats while I sang "Happy Birthday" alone.
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I saw a video of a penguin getting a special fish cake for its birthday. Meanwhile, I can't even get a cake without someone asking, "Are you sure you need that extra slice?" Penguins living the birthday dream, and I'm over here on a diet.
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Trying to put a birthday hat on a hamster is like attempting rocket science. It's just not happening. They're too busy running on their little wheels, probably plotting their escape from the birthday madness.
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