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After dinner speakers are like the unsung heroes of social gatherings. They save you from awkward silences and give you the perfect excuse to check your phone under the table. It's multitasking at its finest.
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I attended a dinner with an after dinner speaker once. He spoke for so long that by the end, I was convinced I had lived through multiple generations. I turned to the person next to me and asked, "Did we just time-travel over dessert?
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After dinner speakers are the only people who can make "Let me tell you a quick story" sound like a three-course meal. Suddenly, your evening turns into a storytelling marathon, and you're desperately searching for the exit like it's a culinary escape room.
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After dinner speakers have this magical ability to make you question your life choices. You start wondering if you, too, could make a living out of sharing mildly amusing anecdotes about your cat's existential crisis.
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After dinner speakers love to drop knowledge bombs on us, but it's always stuff you could find on a motivational poster in a dentist's waiting room. "Believe in yourself" – thanks, I'll keep that in mind next time I'm choosing between cereal and toast for breakfast.
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I once had an after dinner speaker who claimed their life motto was "Live, Laugh, Love." I thought, "Well, mine is 'Eat, Sleep, Avoid After Dinner Speakers.'" I like to keep it simple.
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Have you ever noticed that after dinner speakers are like the dessert of events? You're already full, but someone insists on adding more sweetness, and you're like, "Come on, I can't handle another layer of sugar, or motivational anecdotes!
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The moment an after dinner speaker pulls out a PowerPoint presentation, you know it's going to be a wild ride. It's like, "Congratulations, you've just turned dinner into a corporate meeting. Where's the HR department?
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There's a fine line between an after dinner speaker and a stand-up comedian. One has you laughing until your sides hurt; the other has you nodding off until dessert is served. The struggle is real.
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