17 Adults Quotes Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Sep 24 2024

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I told an adult I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. They said it's impossible to put down!
I told an adult I was writing a novel. They asked, 'How many pages?' I said, 'I don't know, it's still a mystery!
I told an adult I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. They said, 'I can't put it down either!
Why do adults never get mad at math? Because it always has too many problems!
I asked an adult if they believe in ghosts. They said, 'Only when the house is too quiet!
Why did the adult become a gardener? They heard it was a 'growing' industry!
Why did the adult bring a ladder to the comedy club? They wanted to reach the punchline!

Adulting Quotes

You know you're officially an adult when your idea of a wild Friday night is reading inspirational quotes about responsibility. I used to party till dawn; now I scroll till yawn.

Adulting Level Unlocked

There should be an achievement unlocked sound every time you pay a bill on time. Congratulations, you've reached the next level of adulting! Now, can someone explain why my credit score isn't skyrocketing with every successful transaction?

The Wisdom of Google

Adults love to tell you to trust your instincts. Well, my instincts led me to Google, and now I'm convinced I have a rare tropical disease every time I sneeze. Thanks, instincts. Real helpful.

Adults and Their Wisdom

Adults love giving advice, don't they? Early to bed, early to rise. Well, guess what, Karen? I tried that. Now I'm just exhausted 24/7. Thanks for the pro-tip, Captain Obvious.

Quotes and Misquotes

Have you noticed that adults have this strange habit of quoting famous people to make their point? I tried that once. I quoted Shakespeare to explain my laundry woes: To fold or not to fold, that is the question. My socks still remained mismatched.

Adulting: The Reality Show

I'd love to see a reality show called Adulting, where contestants compete in challenges like finding matching Tupperware lids and assembling IKEA furniture. Spoiler alert: Every episode ends with someone crying in the closet.

Adults Anonymous

I think there should be a support group for adults where we gather in a circle, hold hands, and confess our deepest fears. Hi, I'm John, and I still can't fold a fitted sheet. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

Wisdom or Wishdom?

They say with age comes wisdom, but I'm starting to think it's just wishful thinking. I'm older, but my decision-making skills are still on a choose pizza toppings level. I mean, Hawaiian or pepperoni – the struggle is real.

The Expertise of Parenthood

Parents love to drop knowledge bombs like they're dropping the mic. Sleep when the baby sleeps, they say. Sure, Karen. Let me just hit the snooze button on life.

Adulting Olympics

If adulting was an Olympic sport, we'd have events like speed grocery shopping, synchronized bill paying, and the marathon of pretending to understand taxes. And the gold medal? It goes to the person who can change a tire without Googling it first.

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