16 Adults Only Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Feb 09 2025

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I told my boss I needed a raise because I'm so good at math. He said, 'How do you figure?
Why did the adult bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why don't adults ever go to the playground? Because the only swinging they want to do is between coffee and wine!
Why don't adults ever go to the playground? Because the only swinging they want to do is between coffee and wine!
I told my boss I needed a raise because I'm so good at math. He said, 'How do you figure?
Why did the adult bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

The Adults-Only Rollercoaster

Life after joining the Adults Only club feels like a never-ending rollercoaster. The only problem is, I didn't sign up for this ride, and I'm pretty sure the safety bar is missing.

Adults Only – The Exclusive Club

So, I heard they're making a sequel to adulthood. It's called Adults Only. You know you're in when the bouncer at the entrance just hands you a bill and says, Congratulations, your free trial has expired.

Adulthood – The Ultimate Reality Show

Welcome to Adulthood – The Ultimate Reality Show, where the challenges include paying bills, making dinner from whatever is left in the fridge, and pretending you know how to use a drill when you hang up a picture. Spoiler alert: I'm terrible at all of them.

Adults Only – Where the Instruction Manual is Missing

You know you're an adult when you start looking for the instruction manual for life and realize it's nowhere to be found. Turns out, it's just a series of try not to mess up too badly and fake it until you make it lessons. Can I get a refund on this membership, please?

Adulting 101

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet – nobody really knows how to do it, and you end up with a crumpled mess. I signed up for the Adults Only program, but it feels more like a crash course in How to Pretend You Have Your Life Together 101.

The Secret Handshake of Adulthood

I tried to initiate the secret handshake of adulthood, but it turns out it's just an awkward wave to your neighbor while both of you are checking the mail in your pajamas. I guess we're all members of the same awkward club.

The Adulting Membership Card

So, I got my Adults Only membership card in the mail. It's basically just a piece of paper that says, Sorry, no refunds. It's like joining a gym, but instead of lifting weights, you're lifting the weight of your life choices.

The VIP Section of Growing Up

I got into the VIP section of adulthood, and let me tell you, it's not as glamorous as it sounds. Instead of champagne and caviar, they serve coffee and bills. The only dress code is pajamas, and the DJ plays a constant loop of existential crises.

The Illusion of Adulthood

Being an adult is all about maintaining the illusion that you have everything under control. It's like being a duck – calm on the surface, but paddling like crazy underneath. And let's be honest, sometimes that duck just wants to take a nap.

The Age of 'Adulting Upgrades'

You ever notice how being an adult is like constantly getting software updates? They're supposed to improve your life, but most of the time, you're just left wondering, What did this update even do, and can I get a refund?

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