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You ever notice how some people take their titles way too seriously? Like, I bumped into this guy at the grocery store, and he was acting all high and mighty. He had this air about him, strutting like he owned the place. I'm thinking, "Who's this? The king of avocados or something?" Turns out, he was an admiral. Yeah, an actual admiral! But he's in the produce aisle, inspecting the lettuce like it's a fleet of ships. I couldn't resist, so I asked, "Admiral, are you looking for the iceberg lettuce or the USS Romaine?" He didn't find it as amusing as I did. Guess salad humor isn't his forte.
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Ever wonder what an admiral does on his day off? I mean, does he go fishing and command the fish to jump into his boat? "Fish, I am Admiral Johnson! Obey my orders!" I bet even in casual clothes, he's got that "I'm in charge" vibe. He's probably at the beach, building sandcastles, yelling at seagulls, "I said attention! No flyovers in this airspace!
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I bet being an admiral gives you a whole different perspective on everything. Like, imagine his reaction to a simple board game. He probably looks at Battleship and thinks, "Ha! I've seen bigger battleships in my sleep!" Or when he hears "captain," he's like, "Pff, amateurs." And don't get him started on "admirable." "You think that's admirable? Please, that's just a Monday for me!"
It's tough having an admiral around, especially during game night. Can you imagine playing chess with him? Every move, he's like, "That's a weak strategy, sailor! You're going down!
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I heard this story about an admiral who brought his military precision home. He's there, commanding like he's still on duty. "Attention! Clean dishes portside!" His poor family must feel like they're living on a naval vessel. I can imagine the breakfast table: "Private, pass the cereal to the starboard side!" His wife's probably like, "Honey, this is our home, not a battleship." But he's unstoppable. He's probably got the dog responding to commands like it's a new recruit. "Rover, fetch the paper! That's an order!
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