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Fitness Follies
Joining her gym to get noticed
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I attempted yoga to impress her with my flexibility. Let's just say, I got stuck in a position called "Confused Pretzel." She asked if I needed help, and I said, "No, just practicing for the contortionist audition I have later.
Car Confusion
Trying to be the perfect chauffeur
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I thought I'd be a gentleman and open the car door for her. She looked at me and said, "Thanks, but this isn't a date. I just needed a ride to the mechanic." Note to self: Check for oil stains next time before assuming it's a date.
Cooking Catastrophes
Attempting to win her heart through a homemade meal
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I thought I'd surprise her with breakfast in bed. I made pancakes shaped like hearts. She took one look and said, "I appreciate the effort, but I'm not into anatomically incorrect organs for breakfast.
Fashion Fumbles
Dressing up to catch her attention
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I thought I'd show off my adventurous side, so I wore a leather jacket. She asked if I ride a motorcycle. I said, "No, it just makes me feel cool." She replied, "The only thing revving here is my disappointment.
Texting Troubles
Trying to get a girl to like you through text messages
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I thought I'd be witty and sent her a joke. I said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Is that why you vanished after our date?" Ouch, she's got jokes too.
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