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Joke Types
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What did the guy say to impress the girl who loved chemistry? 'Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te!
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What did the guy say to impress the girl who loved sports? 'Are you a football? Because I can't resist tackling you with compliments!
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What did the guy say to impress the girl who loved gardening? 'Are you a plant? Because I feel rooted in your presence!
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Why did the girl bring a pencil to her date? In case they needed to draw conclusions!
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What did the guy say to impress the girl who loved literature? 'Are you a book? Because every chapter with you is an adventure!
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What did the guy say to impress the girl who loved puzzles? 'Are you a jigsaw? Because you complete me!
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How did the shy guy impress the girl at the seafood restaurant? He clam-med up and gave her a mussel!
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Why did the girl bring a map to the park? In case someone asked for directions to her heart!
Fitness Fiasco
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I thought, let's get fit, you know? So, I joined a gym. But it turns out, the only six-pack I'm getting is from all the soda I reward myself with after working out. At this rate, the only thing I'm impressing is my couch with my dedication to Netflix.
Car Confusion
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I thought picking her up in a cool car would be impressive. So, I rented this fancy sports car. The only problem was, I don't know how to drive stick. So, there I am, revving the engine like Vin Diesel on caffeine, and the car is basically doing the cha-cha. Not so impressive.
Cooking Catastrophe
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I thought cooking her dinner would be impressive. So, I'm in the kitchen, trying to follow a recipe. Let me tell you, the only thing I successfully cooked that night was a smoke alarm orchestra. I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought I was summoning a culinary demon.
Seducing Strategies
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I asked my friends for advice on how to impress her. One guy goes, Just be yourself! I'm thinking, if being myself was the answer, I wouldn't be Googling how to make a good impression. I'd be Googling how to turn off autocorrect on my mouth.
Dressing to Impress
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I decided to upgrade my wardrobe because apparently, first impressions matter. So, I'm in this store, and the salesperson says, This suit will make you irresistible! I put it on and walked out feeling like James Bond. But reality hit when I realized I couldn't afford the suit, and I had to go back to being Austin Powers on a budget.
Final Frontier Fail
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I thought taking her stargazing would be romantic. So, we're lying on a blanket, looking up at the stars. And then, I spot what I think is a shooting star. I excitedly say, Make a wish! She looks at me and goes, That's a plane, genius. Well, at least my wish for a smooth date didn't come true.
Smooth Operator Fail
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I tried to be a smooth operator, you know, like George Michael level smooth. So, I'm walking towards her, trying to exude confidence, and I walk straight into a glass door. Smooth, right? It was like the universe was saying, Stick to being awkward, buddy.
Pet Dilemma
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I heard chicks dig guys with pets. So, I got a goldfish because I figured it's low maintenance. Little did I know, goldfish are like the introverts of the pet world. I'm there trying to impress her, and my goldfish is in the corner judging me like, You call that flirting?
Tech Trouble
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I tried impressing her with my tech skills. I'm setting up this elaborate home entertainment system. I press a button, and suddenly the TV starts playing a documentary on snails. Smooth move, tech genius. I guess my gadgets have a sense of humor too.
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