4 Jokes For 2b Or Not 2b

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 21 2024

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Have you ever noticed that pencils get discriminated against? It's always about the pens, the fancy gel pens, the ballpoint pens. Pencils are like the forgotten middle child of the writing utensil family. You never hear someone say, "Oh, I need a pencil for my signature. I only use the finest graphite for my legal documents." No! It's always about the pens stealing the spotlight.
And don't even get me started on the eraser discrimination. It's like, "Oh, you made a mistake? Well, too bad! You should've used a pen and lived with your errors." Erasers are the unsung heroes of the pencil world, sacrificing themselves to fix our blunders. But do they get the credit? No! They're just chewed up and left as a nub at the end of the pencil.
Let's start a pencil revolution! Let's give these graphite heroes the recognition they deserve. Pencils, erasers, and even the pencil sharpener—all equal in the eyes of the writing gods!
You ever look at a pencil and think, "2b or not 2b"? I mean, who knew a writing instrument could have an existential crisis? It's like, "Am I dark enough to write that deep poetry or should I just stick to doodling cats during a boring meeting?" It's a tough decision for a pencil. I imagine it goes something like this: "Do I want to be the tool that signs a historic treaty or the one that gets chewed on by a stressed-out office worker?" Tough choices, my friend.
And then there's the pressure on the poor pencil when it comes to standardized tests. It's like, "Come on, 2b, you better be dark and bold. Little Timmy's future depends on it!" I can just picture the pencil sweating graphite. "I didn't sign up for this kind of responsibility!"
But hey, I get it. The pencil is the unsung hero of the stationary world, caught in an eternal struggle between artistic expression and standardized conformity. So, the next time you're pondering life's deep questions, just remember the humble pencil is right there with you, wondering if it's 2b or not 2b.
You know, pencils have the worst pick-up lines. Imagine being at a bar, and a pencil walks up to you like, "Hey, baby, are you a test? Because I want to erase you from my mind." Smooth, right? Or how about this one: "Is your name No. 2? Because you're the only one for me." I mean, come on, pencils, you can do better than that!
And let's not forget the cheesy eraser lines. "Are you an eraser? Because you make all my mistakes disappear." I appreciate the effort, but I think I'd rather keep my mistakes intact, thank you very much.
But hey, maybe pencils just have a dry sense of humor. Or maybe, just maybe, they're too busy contemplating the meaning of their existence to come up with good pick-up lines. "2b or not 2b in a relationship?" Now that's the real question.
I think pencils need therapy. Can you imagine the emotional baggage they carry? "I've been through so many essays, doodles, and math problems. I just need someone to sharpen my feelings." Pencils have been there for us through thick and thin, and it's about time we offer them some emotional support.
Picture a little pencil lying on a therapist's couch, pouring its graphite heart out. "Doc, I've been feeling a little blunt lately. The pressure to perform is getting to me. I mean, am I really making a mark on the world, or am I just leaving behind a trail of broken dreams?"
And then the therapist, with a notepad in hand, says, "It sounds like you're carrying the weight of the stationary world on your shoulders, my friend. But remember, even the shortest pencils can leave a lasting impression."
Let's start a movement—#PencilTherapy. Because pencils have feelings too, and it's time we sharpen their emotional well-being.

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