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Why did the clock break up with the calendar in 2024? It needed more space and time!
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Why did the calendar go to therapy in 2024? It had too many issues with dates!
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Why did the computer go to therapy in 2024? It had too many bytes and couldn't process its feelings!
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Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker in 2024? It was outstanding in its field!
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2024: The year I attempted a digital detox but ended up binge-watching cat videos on my neighbor's Wi-Fi. I thought, 2024 is the year of a digital detox for me! Then I realized my neighbor has better Wi-Fi, and suddenly I'm knee-deep in cat videos, contemplating the meaning of life with a backdrop of adorable kittens.
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2024: The year I learned the hard way that 'getting my life together' doesn't include solving my issues with the TV remote. I decided 2024 was the year I'd get my life together. Step one: conquer the TV remote. Well, turns out, I still haven't figured out if the 'mute' button mutes my problems or just the TV.
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2024: The year I joined a 'book club' and realized it's just an excuse to drink wine and argue about fictional characters. Thought I'd be intellectual in 2024 and joined a book club. Turns out, it's just an elaborate excuse to drink wine and passionately argue about whether Dumbledore would beat Gandalf in a wizard duel.
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2024: The year I tried meditation but spent the entire session thinking about how I could be using that time to eat pizza. Attempted meditation in 2024. Sat there cross-legged, trying to clear my mind. But all I could think about was how much time I was wasting when I could be eating pizza. Turns out, pizza is my true Zen.
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2024: The only year where I tried to time travel by staring at the clock and screaming, 'Come on, Marty McFly, where are you?' I thought 2024 would be the year I finally mastered time travel. I spent hours staring at the clock, expecting Doc Brown to pop out any moment. Turns out, my DeLorean is just stuck in traffic on the space-time highway.
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2024: The year where my New Year's resolution was so realistic, it lasted until January 2nd. You know, I started the year with this grand resolution to hit the gym every day. By January 2nd, I had already achieved my goal - I found the gym, walked in, realized I forgot my water bottle, and decided, Well, maybe next year.
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2024: The year I attempted to become a morning person but discovered the snooze button has a magnetic force field at 6 AM. I decided 2024 was the year I'd become a morning person. The problem? At 6 AM, my bed suddenly becomes the comfiest place on Earth, and the snooze button gains the power of a black hole. Morning person status: still pending.
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2024: The year I invested in 'self-care,' which, as it turns out, mostly involves convincing myself that buying more bath bombs is a legitimate life strategy. Decided to invest in self-care in 2024. Apparently, it mostly involves convincing yourself that buying more bath bombs is a legitimate life strategy. My tub is basically a fizzy, fragrant version of my dreams – also known as a bubble-filled money pit.
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2024: The year I tried to follow a 'healthy eating' trend, but it turns out chocolate-covered broccoli is not a thing. Everyone's into these weird healthy eating trends. I tried the chocolate-covered broccoli diet in 2024. Spoiler alert: it's not a thing, and now I have trust issues with both chocolate and broccoli.
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2024: The year I attempted DIY home improvement and discovered my true talent is rearranging furniture to hide the stains. I decided to tackle home improvement in 2024. After a few attempts, I realized my true talent lies in strategically rearranging furniture to hide stains. Who needs a Pinterest-perfect home when you have the art of camouflage?
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