4 Jokes For 1985

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 12 2024

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Let's talk about technology in 1985. We're talking about the era where if you wanted to play a video game, you had to blow into a cartridge like you were giving it CPR. And if that didn't work, you'd take it out, blow on it again, and pray to the gaming gods that your Mario or Sonic would come back to life.
And cell phones? Yeah, right. If you wanted to make a call, you had to find a payphone. Can you imagine trying to coordinate plans with your friends without texting? "Meet me at the arcade at 3 pm, and if I'm not there, assume I'm dead." Today, we just send a quick "OMW" and call it a day.
And don't even get me started on the struggle of recording your favorite TV shows. You had to program a VCR like you were launching a space shuttle. It was like, "Okay, press this button, set the timer, pray the power doesn't go out, and hope you don't accidentally record three hours of static."
But you know what's wild? People survived. Somehow, we made it through the technological dark ages of '85. Now, if my Wi-Fi goes out for five minutes, I'm ready to file a formal complaint. Back then, they were just happy if their Walkman batteries lasted through a mixtape. Ah, the good ol' days.
Let's talk fashion in 1985. I've seen pictures, and I have one question: What were people thinking? High-waisted jeans up to your armpits, neon-colored leg warmers, and don't even get me started on the mullets. Business in the front, party in the back – more like regret in the mirror.
And the perms! Every man and his dog had a perm. I'm pretty sure even the Statue of Liberty considered getting one. People wanted their hair so curly; they looked like they got electrocuted by a disco ball.
But let's not forget the workout gear. Those leotards and spandex were practically a second skin. People went to the gym looking like they were auditioning for an '80s music video. And let's not forget the headbands. Did they think they were in an aerobics class or about to compete in a sweaty version of Wimbledon?
The best part is, people thought they were the height of fashion. They'd look in the mirror and think, "Yep, this is it. I am killing it." Meanwhile, we look at those pictures now and think, "What were you wearing, and can I get that burned from my memory?"
Fashion in 1985 was like a bad acid trip – a colorful, confusing, and utterly bizarre journey. But hey, at least they were confident in their questionable choices.
You ever think about the year 1985? I mean, I wasn't born then, but I've heard it was a wild time. People had hair so big, I'm pretty sure they needed a special permit just to walk through doorways. And what's with those neon-colored windbreakers? I bet astronauts in space could see those bad boys from light-years away.
And the music! Ah, the '80s tunes. I don't know if they were writing songs or just putting random words together. "Wake me up before you go-go"? I don't even want to know what that means. And let's not forget those cassette tapes. If you wanted to hear your favorite song, you had to fast-forward through what felt like an eternity. Today, we just ask Siri or Alexa to play it, and boom, there it is. But back in '85, if you missed the radio DJ announcing the song, good luck figuring out what you were listening to.
But you know what's the craziest thing about 1985? No smartphones! Can you imagine surviving without Google Maps? People had to use paper maps, and if you took a wrong turn, well, you might as well be on an episode of "Lost." And don't get me started on trying to take a selfie – you needed an actual camera, film, and then you had to wait days to see if you looked good or like you just escaped a horror movie.
So, here's to the class of '85 – the original survivors of big hair, cassette tapes, and the struggle of finding your way without a GPS. I salute you!
Now, let's talk about love in 1985. No swiping right or left – it was all about the classic pick-up lines. "Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes." Smooth, right? I bet someone actually used that and thought they were Casanova.
And the dating game was different. No texting or sliding into DMs. You had to call someone's landline and hope their parents didn't pick up. Imagine having to navigate through awkward conversations with someone's mom just to get to the good stuff.
And let's not forget about the mixtapes. People would spend hours crafting the perfect playlist to express their feelings. Today, we just make a Spotify playlist and hit shuffle. Back then, it was an art form. You had to time the recording just right, so the DJ didn't ruin the mood by talking over the beginning of your favorite ballad.
But you know what? There was a charm to it. A simplicity that today's dating world seems to have lost. No ghosting – just good old-fashioned rejection. If someone wasn't interested, they'd tell you straight up, and you'd move on. No disappearing acts, just a clear "thanks, but no thanks."
So here's to the romance of 1985 – where love was a mixtape away, and the pickup lines were as cheesy as the movies. Ah, the good old days of analog affection.

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