4 Jokes For Whatnot

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 04 2024

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You ever notice how 'whatnot' becomes a relationship savior? "We were having a disagreement, you know, about the, uh, whatnot." Translation: We were fighting about something so insignificant that I can't even remember what it was.
And let's not forget the passive-aggressive use of 'whatnot.' "She was going on and on about her day and whatnot." Oh, so your day was so much more interesting and important that it doesn't even warrant a mention? Classic 'whatnot' move.
I've also discovered that 'whatnot' is the perfect response when you don't want to commit to plans. "We should get together sometime, you know, grab a drink or whatnot." Translation: I have no intention of making plans with you, but it sounds polite, right?
So, the next time you find yourself in a relationship dilemma, just throw in a 'whatnot.' It's the verbal equivalent of hitting the pause button on a conversation. "We need to talk about our future, and whatnot." Ah, the power of vague language. It's a relationship game-changer.
Let's talk about the word 'whatnot' for a moment. It's the Swiss Army knife of the English language. You can use it in any situation, and it somehow makes you sound more sophisticated. "I was at this fancy restaurant, you know, ordering lobster and whatnot." Suddenly, you're not just eating lobster; you're having a culinary adventure.
But here's the thing – 'whatnot' is also the perfect escape route when you're trapped in a conversation you want no part of. "So, I was telling him about my stamp collection, and whatnot." Ah, yes, the classic 'whatnot' exit strategy. It's like saying, "I'm done with this conversation, but I'll throw in a 'whatnot' to make it seem like I'm still engaged."
And have you ever tried to define 'whatnot' to someone? It's impossible. "It's like, you know, things and stuff, and whatnot." It's the ultimate linguistic loophole. You can talk for hours without actually saying anything.
I'm thinking of starting a support group for people who overuse 'whatnot.' "Hi, my name is John, and I have a 'whatnot' addiction." The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? But seriously, let's embrace the mystery of 'whatnot' and make it the official word of indecisiveness.
You ever notice how people use the term 'whatnot' when they don't really know what to say? It's like the verbal equivalent of throwing your hands up in the air and saying, "Eh, whatever!" I mean, who came up with this word? It's the linguistic Swiss Army knife. You can use it in any situation.
I was at a party the other day, and I overheard a conversation that went something like this: "So, I was at the store, and I needed to buy some, you know, whatnot." Really? Whatnot? Are you buying groceries or casting a spell? I swear, 'whatnot' is the magical ingredient that turns a boring story into an epic tale of mystery and intrigue.
And what's with the overuse of 'and whatnot' at the end of sentences? It's like a verbal safety net. "I was at the gym, lifting weights and whatnot." Oh, you mean you were at the gym, lifting weights, and pretending to know how to use all those complicated machines? It's the perfect way to gloss over the fact that you have no idea what you're talking about.
So, next time you find yourself at a loss for words, just throw in a 'whatnot.' It's the linguistic equivalent of a shrug. "I went to the doctor, and he said I have this, um, condition and whatnot." Translation: I have no idea what's wrong with me, but it sounds serious, right?
I recently discovered there's a secret competition happening in everyday conversations – the 'Whatnot' Olympics. People are trying to outdo each other in their use of 'whatnot' to sound more interesting or knowledgeable.
I overheard two guys at the coffee shop the other day, and it was like a 'whatnot' showdown. "I was reading this book, you know, about philosophy and whatnot." The other guy wasn't going to be outdone, so he responds with, "Oh, yeah, I've been exploring ancient civilizations and whatnot." It's like they were in a battle of intellectual one-upmanship, and 'whatnot' was their weapon of choice.
I'm thinking of organizing the first official 'Whatnot' Olympics. Categories could include the most creative use of 'whatnot' in a sentence, the most absurd topic made mysterious with 'whatnot,' and of course, the speed 'whatnot' round – how many times can you say it in 60 seconds?
But let's be honest, folks, we're all winners in the 'Whatnot' Olympics because, at the end of the day, we can all use 'whatnot' to make even the most mundane stories sound like epic adventures. So here's to the unsung hero of our language – 'whatnot' – may it continue to mystify and entertain us for generations to come.

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