10 Jokes For Voluptuous

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Aug 17 2024

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You know you've made it in life when your bank account starts looking as voluptuous as a Thanksgiving turkey. I'm just waiting for that direct deposit to get a little more curvy.
Why is it that pizza always looks so much more voluptuous in commercials? I order a pizza, and it arrives looking flatter than my high school chemistry grade. I want those pizza curves!
I went to a spa the other day, and they had this massage chair that claimed to give you a voluptuous experience. I sat down, and it felt more like a rodeo. I was holding on for dear life while the chair tried to throw me off.
You ever notice how the word "voluptuous" is like the VIP section of the dictionary? It's like, "Excuse me, regular words, the voluptuous ones are coming through. Make some space!
I overheard someone saying, "Life is short, make it voluptuous." I thought, "Sure, but does that mean I need to start putting sequins on my grocery list or what?
I bought a pillow the other day because the packaging promised a voluptuous night's sleep. I slept on it, and now I'm wondering if they meant my bank account would be sleeping soundly because that pillow was expensive!
I saw a car the other day with voluptuous curves, and I thought, "If only my love life was as aerodynamic as that vehicle!" Maybe I need to take dating advice from cars.
I tried to make my morning coffee more voluptuous by adding whipped cream and sprinkles. Turns out, coffee isn't as forgiving as a dessert. It just looked at me like, "What are you doing to me?
I tried to describe my morning routine as voluptuous, but apparently, that's not a thing. I guess rolling out of bed and accidentally stubbing your toe on the dresser isn't considered glamorous.
I was at the grocery store the other day, and I saw this voluptuous watermelon. I mean, that thing was so curvy; it looked like it hit the gym more than I do. I thought, "Is this fruit or a fitness model?

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