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You know you've made it in life when your bank account starts looking as voluptuous as a Thanksgiving turkey. I'm just waiting for that direct deposit to get a little more curvy.
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Why is it that pizza always looks so much more voluptuous in commercials? I order a pizza, and it arrives looking flatter than my high school chemistry grade. I want those pizza curves!
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I went to a spa the other day, and they had this massage chair that claimed to give you a voluptuous experience. I sat down, and it felt more like a rodeo. I was holding on for dear life while the chair tried to throw me off.
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You ever notice how the word "voluptuous" is like the VIP section of the dictionary? It's like, "Excuse me, regular words, the voluptuous ones are coming through. Make some space!
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I overheard someone saying, "Life is short, make it voluptuous." I thought, "Sure, but does that mean I need to start putting sequins on my grocery list or what?
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I bought a pillow the other day because the packaging promised a voluptuous night's sleep. I slept on it, and now I'm wondering if they meant my bank account would be sleeping soundly because that pillow was expensive!
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I saw a car the other day with voluptuous curves, and I thought, "If only my love life was as aerodynamic as that vehicle!" Maybe I need to take dating advice from cars.
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I tried to make my morning coffee more voluptuous by adding whipped cream and sprinkles. Turns out, coffee isn't as forgiving as a dessert. It just looked at me like, "What are you doing to me?
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I tried to describe my morning routine as voluptuous, but apparently, that's not a thing. I guess rolling out of bed and accidentally stubbing your toe on the dresser isn't considered glamorous.
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