16 Jokes For Two Line

Puns

Updated on: Jan 08 2025

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

The Microwave Minute Madness

You know you're an adult when you start arguing with your roommates about microwave etiquette. It's a simple rule—clear the time after you're done. But no, I open the microwave, and it's a digital clock from the future, flashing 00:01 like it's competing in a time travel marathon.

The Great Shoe Invasion

I share my space with my significant other, but it seems like her shoes are multiplying like rabbits. It's not a shoe closet anymore; it's a shoe colony. I have to navigate through a shoe minefield every morning. I feel like I'm in a shoe-themed episode of Survivor, and the shoes are winning.

The Battle of the Remote

You ever have that moment when you and your partner are fighting over the TV remote like it's the last piece of treasure on a sinking ship? It's like we're both captains trying to steer the ship to our preferred channel. I swear, whoever invented the mute button had a PhD in relationship therapy.

The Mystery of the Missing Tupperware Lids

I don't know if Tupperware lids have a secret society or if they're playing hide and seek, but I can never find the matching lid when I need it. I open the cabinet, and it's like a lid rebellion happened. I'm starting to suspect that they're having a lid party somewhere without me.

Fridge Wars

Living with roommates is like participating in a reality show called Fridge Wars. We each have our designated shelf space, but somehow my yogurt always ends up on their territory, and their leftovers are staging a coup on my side. It's like a Cold War, only with Tupperware.

The Blanket Territory Dispute

Sharing a bed with someone is an ongoing negotiation of blanket territory. I don't know how it happens, but in the middle of the night, it's like a covert mission where the blankets are slowly migrating to the other side. I wake up feeling like I've been on an expedition to the Antarctic.

The Unholy Toilet Seat Debate

The toilet seat debate in relationships is like a never-ending sequel to a bad movie. Is it so hard to put it down? I feel like I'm doing acrobatics every time I enter the bathroom. I've considered installing a seatbelt just for my late-night bathroom trips.

The Battle of the Thermostat

If there's one thing that can turn a peaceful home into a battleground, it's the thermostat. I like it warm and toasty, and my roommate thinks we're living in the Arctic. It's like a temperature tug-of-war, and the winner gets to wear either shorts or a parka indoors.

The Great Toilet Paper War

I recently moved in with my roommate, and let me tell you, the toilet paper orientation debate is real. I'm team over, and he's team under. It's like living with a secret agent; I never know which way the roll is going to turn. Forget world peace, let's solve the great toilet paper crisis first.

The Sock Conspiracy

I'm convinced there's a sock conspiracy going on in my laundry room. I put two socks in, and magically, only one comes out. Where do they go? Are they on vacation in Sockistan? I wouldn't be surprised if there's a sock black market thriving somewhere.

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