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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. It's the little things, like realizing your best days involve upgraded cleaning supplies.
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You ever notice how people always pretend to know what they're doing at the gym? I saw a guy adjusting the weight machine for a good two minutes, and I'm pretty sure he just invented a new yoga pose.
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Have you ever looked at your phone for the time, put it down, and immediately forgotten what time it is? It's like our brains have a one-second refresh rate.
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Why do we always act surprised when the weather app is wrong? It's like we expect meteorologists to have a crystal ball instead of relying on the same internet we use to watch cat videos.
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Have you ever been in an elevator with strangers and everyone suddenly becomes an expert at avoiding eye contact? It's like a secret society meeting for the socially awkward.
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Grocery shopping is the only place where we become mathematicians without even realizing it. You're calculating discounts, comparing prices, and hoping your budget can handle the sudden urge for organic kale.
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Trying to find matching socks is like going on a quest for the Holy Grail. You start with hope and determination, but by the end, you're questioning the very fabric of reality.
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Why is it that the alarm clock is the only thing that can calculate time in a way that makes you question all your life choices? Two lines in, and it's already roasting your entire existence.
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I love how we all become detectives when our TV remote goes missing. The search is so intense; Sherlock Holmes would be proud. "Where art thou, remote?!
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