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Teenager Applying for AARP
Dealing with senior discounts while still in high school
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At school, they asked me to write a letter to my future self. I just wrote, "Dear Future Me, I hope you're enjoying those sweet retirement benefits. P.S. Don't forget to do your algebra homework.
Overly Ambitious Toddler
Trying to be an adult in a tiny body
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I asked my little cousin what she wants to be when she grows up. She said, "Retired." I guess the preschool grind is tougher than we think.
Elementary School CEO
Managing a crayon empire in a cutthroat classroom market
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I tried to organize a recess union to negotiate longer playtimes. The teacher shut it down, saying, "You're too young to unionize." I replied, "Well, then we demand more cookies at snack time.
Toddler Yelp Reviewer
Critiquing the world from a height of three feet
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My toddler gave me a disappointed look and said, "Your bedtime story game needs improvement. More dinosaurs, fewer princes, please.
Kindergarten Philosopher
Grappling with life's big questions with a snack time schedule
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I overheard a deep conversation in the kindergarten playground. One kid asked, "If I eat my vegetables, will I grow up to be a superhero?" Another kid replied, "No, but you might get dessert, and that's pretty close.
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