bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You know who's the real MVP in all this "end is nigh" drama? Procrastinators! Yeah, that's right. We've been preparing for the end since forever! I mean, while everyone's busy building bunkers and hoarding supplies, us procrastinators are just chilling, living life in the moment. We'll deal with the end when it gets here. Until then, let's binge-watch some shows, eat snacks, and take life as it comes!
And think about it, if the end finally arrives, who's gonna be more relaxed? The people who've been stressing for years or us procrastinators who've mastered the art of last-minute adaptation?
So, in the battle of survival, my money's on the procrastinators! We might not have a plan, but we'll figure it out when the time comes. Until then, let's just enjoy the show and hope the end keeps procrastinating too!
0
0
So, I was thinking, if the end is nigh, we should throw an 'End of the World' party! I mean, why not? Let's go out with a bang! We could have themed drinks like 'Meteor Margaritas' and 'Apocalyptic Punch.' And the dress code? Post-apocalyptic chic! Dust off those old Halloween costumes and add a little extra dirt and voilà, you're ready!
And imagine the playlist! We'd have all those classic 'end of the world' tunes. "It's the End of the World as We Know It" would definitely make the cut. And how about a little "Highway to Hell" just to set the mood?
But you know there'll always be that one guy at the party, checking his watch and saying, "Hey, shouldn't we be panicking or something?" And I'll be there like, "Dude, if the end is truly here, I'd rather dance my way out than stress about it!
0
0
You know, with all this talk about "the end is nigh," I've started preparing. Yeah, I've got a survival kit! But let's be real, my survival kit consists of some canned food, a flashlight, and a Netflix subscription. I'm ready to binge-watch through doomsday! But it's funny how people get so caught up in prepping for the end. They're stocking up on supplies, building bunkers... I saw this one guy who turned his basement into a doomsday shelter. I asked him, "How long are you planning to stay down there?" He goes, "As long as it takes." I'm like, "Dude, you do know Netflix doesn't work underground, right?"
And then there are these doomsday preppers who think they can outsmart the end. I mean, come on! You can't negotiate with the apocalypse like it's a landlord asking for rent. It's not gonna be like, "Oh, you've got a shelter? Well, I'll just skip this block and hit the next one."
But hey, if the end is really nigh, maybe we should start a business selling 'apocalypse insurance.' You know, just in case the Four Horsemen decide to ride into town. I'll be here with my Netflix subscription waiting for that claim!
0
0
You ever notice how some people always predict that "the end is nigh"? I mean, how many times have we heard that phrase? It's like a broken record skipping to the apocalypse! I bumped into this guy the other day, he had a sign saying "The End is Nigh." So, I asked him, "Hey, buddy, any updates on the schedule? Is it like an appointment we've gotta pencil in, or is it more of a surprise party situation?"
He looks at me dead serious and says, "It's definitely happening soon. The signs are all around us."
I'm thinking, "Yeah, like the sign you're holding right now?" I mean, talk about self-fulfilling prophecies!
But here's the thing, folks. The end might be nigh, but then again, it's been 'nigh' for centuries! It's like that guest who RSVPs to the party but never shows up. Always keeping us on edge, right?
Seems like the only thing that's consistent about "the end" is that it's never quite here. So, until it decides to finally RSVP, I'll be here, chilling with my popcorn, waiting for the real show to start.
Post a Comment