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I have this friend Seamus who's like the ghost of social events. You know, you invite him to a party, and he shows up, but instead of being the life of the party, he's more like the "lifeless" of the party. I introduced him to a friend once, and my friend goes, "Hey, Seamus, nice to meet you!" Seamus looks him up and down and goes, "I've seen better." Who knew ghosts could be so judgmental? I mean, come on, Seamus, at least pretend to be impressed. You're not haunting this place; you're just mildly inconveniencing it.
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You ever notice how names can shape your expectations? Like, if I tell you there's a guy named Seamus in the story, you automatically think, "Oh, this is gonna be good!" Seamus is not a name, it's an experience. So, I meet this guy Seamus, and I'm thinking, "Okay, he's probably got a leprechaun friend or a pot of gold hidden somewhere." Turns out, he's just a regular dude. I was so disappointed; I was ready for magic, and all I got was a guy who's really good at Sudoku. Thanks for nothing, Seamus.
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So, Seamus thinks he's this expert on all things paranormal. He once told me he can communicate with ghosts. I said, "Prove it!" He pulls out a Ouija board, and we start asking questions. Suddenly, the planchette starts moving. I'm like, "Whoa, Seamus, you're really onto something!" Turns out, he was just moving it with his finger. I've never been so disappointed in a supernatural experience. I thought I was connecting with the other side, but all I got was Seamus trying to mess with me. Note to self: never trust a ghost named Seamus with a Ouija board.
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Have you ever met someone named Seamus and thought, "What's the mystery behind this guy?" I mean, Seamus sounds like he should be the protagonist in a detective novel. So, I decide to investigate. I ask Seamus, "What's your story?" He looks at me dead in the eyes and says, "I once ate a whole ghost pepper without flinching." That's it. That's his big secret. I was expecting international espionage or at least a hidden talent for solving crimes, but nope, he's just really good at handling spicy food. The mystery of Seamus remains unsolved.
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