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Rubbing a genie lamp is the only acceptable form of bribery. "I'll give you three wishes if you let me cut in line at the coffee shop." I mean, who needs world peace when you can have unlimited wishes and a caramel macchiato?
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I recently bought one of those self-cleaning ovens. Turns out, it doesn't mean what I thought. I was expecting it to clean itself, but instead, it just got really hot, and now my pizza stains have formed a new abstract art installation.
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Why is it that we instinctively rub our hands together when we're about to do something mischievous? It's like our hands are having a secret meeting, conspiring against the rest of our body. "Okay, team, let's make this interesting.
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There's a special kind of panic that sets in when you're at someone else's house, and you accidentally break something. Suddenly, you're the world's worst detective, trying to figure out how to fix it without anyone noticing. "Maybe if I just glue this vase back together and strategically place some potpourri...
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You ever notice how we all turn into amateur magicians when we're trying to get rid of a stain? Like, one minute you're having dinner, and the next, you're frantically rubbing a napkin on your shirt, hoping the spaghetti sauce disappears like poof ! Abracadabra, now it's just a faint memory and a damp sleeve.
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Rubbing is the universal language of optimism. You spill something on the carpet, and suddenly you're down there, vigorously rubbing it like you're trying to summon a genie. "I wish for a stain-free existence!
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Rubbing your phone screen to get rid of a fingerprint is like trying to erase your past mistakes. If only life had a touch screen and an undo button, right? "Oops, didn't mean to send that text. Let me just rub it away.
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Rubbing your eyes is like hitting the reset button for the soul. It's the adult version of a toddler throwing a tantrum, except instead of crying, we just vigorously rub our eyes and hope the day starts making sense.
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Have you ever noticed that we all become CSI investigators when we accidentally bump into someone and spill their drink? Suddenly, we're on our knees, analyzing the spill pattern like, "Well, based on the trajectory and viscosity, I'd say it's a red wine from the Merlot region of the vineyard.
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