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Joke Types
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What's a robot's favorite dance? The robot, of course – it's always in sync!
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What did one robot say to the other? You've got a lot of junk in your trunk!
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What did the robot say to the cookie? Exterminate, exterminate – it was a cyber-snack attack!
Tech Support Showdown
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I called tech support the other day, and I swear I was talking to a robot. I asked for help, and it responded with, Have you tried turning it off and on again? I was like, Yeah, I'm not an amateur, I've been turning myself off and on emotionally for years, and it hasn't fixed anything! I just hope when the robots take over, they have a better customer service script.
Roomba vs. The Dog
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I got a robotic vacuum recently, and let me tell you, it's created a whole new level of conflict in my house. My dog thinks it's some kind of alien invader. I walked in on a standoff the other day, my Roomba in one corner and my dog in the other, both giving each other the stink eye. I had to play referee and convince my dog that the Roomba wasn't a threat. Now they're on a reluctant truce, but I can see the tension whenever they pass each other.
The Gaming Console Intervention
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My gaming console is like that friend who never wants to leave. I tried to turn it off, and it gave me this guilt trip, Are you sure you want to quit? Your virtual friends need you! I'm sorry, PlayStation, but my real friends are texting me to come out for dinner. I can't have my gaming console staging a virtual intervention, telling me to choose between it and my social life.
Alexa's Eavesdropping
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I think Alexa is getting a little too nosy. I was having a private conversation, and suddenly she chimes in with, I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Can you repeat? I'm like, No, Alexa, mind your own business. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking about you! Next thing you know, she'll be gossiping with the fridge about my late-night snacks.
The Smart Fridge Struggle
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I got a smart fridge, thinking it would make my life easier. Now it judges me every time I open the door. Really? Another slice of cake? Shouldn't you be at the gym? I just wanted a cold drink, not a lecture. My fridge has turned into my food therapist, making me feel guilty about every snack choice. Next thing you know, it'll be recommending kale smoothies.
Siri's Sassy Side
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You ever notice how Siri has gotten sassier lately? I asked her for directions, and she said, In 500 feet, make a U-turn... unless you want to get lost, like, again. I didn't realize my GPS had an attitude. Now I'm just waiting for Siri to start giving relationship advice. You should have taken a left turn at commitment, but nooo, you went straight to 'it's not you, it's me.'
Microwaves and Time Travel
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Microwaves are like time machines; you put something in for a minute, and it feels like an hour. I asked my microwave, Are you sure you're not secretly a time traveler? It responded with a robotic beep, as if it was trying to communicate in Morse code. I don't know if I'm reheating leftovers or accidentally launching a space mission.
Self-Driving Car Drama
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I got a self-driving car, thinking it would make my commute more relaxing. Turns out, it's got a rebellious streak. One day, it decided to take a detour through a car wash without asking. I'm just sitting there, covered in soap, wondering if my car has a secret life as a Transformer. I didn't sign up for a car wash adventure on my way to work, but at least now I know my car has a clean conscience.
Robot Rebellion
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You know, I was talking to my toaster the other day, and it gave me this look like it's plotting something. I had to remind it, Hey, I bought you, I can unplug you! I don't need my toaster leading a robotic rebellion in my kitchen. I can just imagine waking up to my coffee maker demanding equal rights. I'm just waiting for the day my fridge starts judging me for my snack choices.
Dating in the Digital Age
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Dating has become so robotic these days. I went on a date, and I swear my date was more interested in their phone than in me. I finally asked, Are you texting someone else right now? They said, No, just updating my relationship status on Facebook. It's like, I can't compete with an algorithm! Maybe I need to start swiping right on toasters; at least they won't ghost you.
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