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You ever notice how some words just rhyme with the weirdest things? Like, my friend was telling me about this new diet trend, and he goes, "You know, it's all about eating things that rhyme with your name." I'm like, "Really? What's the logic there?" Apparently, if it rhymes, it's healthy. So, I'm over here munching on a buffet of chocolate and regret because apparently, "chocolate" rhymes with "gotta stop.
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Relationships, they're a whole other ball game. My buddy was like, "You know what rhymes with love? Compatibility." I'm thinking, "Yeah, until you find out their definition of 'clean' is just throwing everything in the closet and hoping for the best." Compatibility, my foot. I'm just looking for someone whose idea of a perfect date doesn't involve arguing about where to eat for an hour.
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You ever think about words that sound really ambitious but, in reality, aren't? Like, "Procrastination." Man, that sounds like you're doing something important, right? But in reality, you're just sitting there, avoiding responsibility like it's your part-time job. It's like, "Hey, what are you up to?" "Oh, you know, just engaging in some world-class procrastination, really raising the bar on laziness.
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Adulting, that's a tough one, right? I recently had to buy a new vacuum cleaner, and let me tell you, adulting rhymes with "I thought this came assembled." Seriously, who knew that buying a vacuum required an engineering degree? I'm staring at this thing, and the only thing I'm sucking up is confusion.
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