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Joke Types
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What do you call a ranger who can play a musical instrument? A guitar-slinger!
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Why did the ranger bring a ladder to the forest? Because he wanted to go to the next level!
Ranger Diplomacy
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Park rangers are the diplomats of the wilderness. I saw one negotiating with a group of squirrels. I don't know what the squirrels wanted, but the ranger left with a bag of acorns and a nod of respect. I guess it was a successful peace treaty.
Wildlife Consultants
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Park rangers are like wildlife consultants. I saw one giving a presentation to a group of ducks. He was probably saying, Quack responsibly, my friends. And remember, the pond is for everyone; don't be a duck hog.
Ranger Lingo
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Rangers have their own secret language. I overheard one saying, We've got a 10-Code Bear with a 415 picnic disruption. I was like, Is that a bear or a secret agent? I just wanted to eat my sandwich in peace!
Ranger Fashion Police
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Have you seen a ranger's uniform? It's like they raided a surplus store from the 1800s. I asked one, Are you on patrol or auditioning for a historical reenactment? I think they secretly enjoy looking like they just stepped out of a time machine.
Ranger Danger
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You ever notice how park rangers are basically the referees of the great outdoors? I mean, I went on a hike the other day, and I felt like I was in a nature game with a referee following me around. Illegal camping, five-yard penalty! I was waiting for them to throw a yellow flag every time I stepped off the trail. Unsportsmanlike conduct for picking wildflowers, sir!
Ranger Comedy Hour
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I attended a ranger-led campfire session recently. It was like a stand-up comedy show, but with more s'mores. The ranger told jokes about bears, and I thought, Man, if a bear heard these jokes, he'd be so offended. 'I'm not that clumsy!'
Ranger Zen
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Rangers have this Zen-like calmness about them. I asked one, How do you stay so serene? He said, It's easy when you spend your days mediating between raccoons arguing over territory. Trust me, human drama seems like a walk in the park.
Ranger Surveillance
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Park rangers must have eyes in the back of their heads. I tried to sneakily eat a granola bar on a forbidden trail, and a ranger appeared behind me like, I can hear the crunch from a mile away. Put the granola down, step away, and nobody gets a citation.
Ranger Mysteries
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Park rangers are like the Sherlock Holmes of the wilderness. They solve mysteries we didn't even know existed. I saw a ranger examining a pile of pinecones the other day. I asked, What's the detective work there? He said, Someone's been squirrel bowling without a permit. I never knew there were underground pinecone bowling leagues in the forest.
Nature's Librarians
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Rangers are the librarians of nature. They shush you if you're too loud and give you the stink eye for disturbing the peace. I accidentally stepped on a twig, and the ranger appeared out of nowhere like, Sir, this is a no-crunching zone. You're in violation of the serene atmosphere act.
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