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Why do we call it a "briefcase" when you end up stuffing it with enough papers to fill a small library? It's less of a brief case and more of a "carry your office with you" case.
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The most unrealistic part of every crime TV show is when they enhance a pixelated photo to reveal crucial details. Meanwhile, I can't even recognize my friends in a group selfie without zooming in a hundred times.
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Trying to find a Tupperware lid that matches the container is like searching for a needle in a haystack. You open the cabinet, and it's like Tupperware Tetris. Where do they all disappear to?
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The shopping cart at the grocery store is like a real-life obstacle course. Every wheel has a mind of its own, and you're just trying to navigate through the aisles without crashing into a pyramid of canned goods. It's like a high-stakes game of cart ballet.
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I love how we call it "networking" at work, but it's basically just adult versions of making friends. "Hey, I like spreadsheets too. Let's be friends... with professional benefits.
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Why is it that the office printer only decides to jam when you're in a hurry? It's like the printer has a sixth sense for when you're running late for a meeting. It's not a printer; it's a time management nemesis.
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You know you've truly become an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. I used to be all about the latest gadgets, now I'm like, "Check out the absorbency on this bad boy!
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There's a special kind of panic when you accidentally send a text to the wrong person. It's like playing Russian roulette with your social life. "Oops, sorry Grandma, that text about the wild weekend was meant for someone else!
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The snooze button on my alarm clock is like a gateway drug to procrastination. It's like, "Just five more minutes," turns into an hour, and suddenly you're late for work, and your boss is giving you that disappointed look.
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