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Joke Types
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I asked the vulture if it wanted dessert. It said, 'No thanks, I'm already 'stuffed'!
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Why did the vulture bring a suitcase to the restaurant? It wanted a 'carry-on' meal!
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Why did the vulture bring a pen to the comedy club? Because it wanted to draw some laughs!
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Why did the vulture become a detective? It had a keen sense of 'fowl' play!
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Why did the vulture get a job in customer service? It had a talent for picking up 'dead'lines!
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Why did the vulture break up with its partner? They had a 'feathered' disagreement!
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Why did the vulture start a fashion line? It had an eye for 'feather' accessories!
Vulture Fashion Trends
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I tried to keep up with the latest vulture fashion trends. Wearing all black and circling dumpsters seemed cool until I realized it was attracting actual vultures. Now my backyard looks like an episode of America's Next Top Scavenger.
Vulture Dating Advice
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I asked a vulture for dating advice. He said, If you want to attract a mate, just start circling them, make creepy eye contact, and wait for them to drop something interesting. Thanks, Mr. Vulture, but I think I'll stick to Tinder.
Vulture Comedy Club
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I performed at a vulture comedy club. The crowd was tough. They didn't laugh until I started telling dead jokes. It's like their sense of humor only kicks in when the punchline is already six feet under.
Vulture Personal Trainer
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I hired a vulture as my personal trainer. He just sits there on the treadmill, staring at me. Every time I slow down, he gives me this judgmental look, like, Come on, you're not even trying. I've seen roadkill move faster than this!
Vulture Valet Service
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I hired a vulture to valet my car. It's great, except every time I come back, there's a feathered guy sitting on the roof, waiting for a tip. I'm like, Dude, you're the valet, not the chauffeur! You're supposed to park the car, not hitch a ride!
Vulture Ventures
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You know you've hit rock bottom when even vultures start circling you. I saw one eyeing my lunch the other day like, Hey, buddy, mind if I pick at that sandwich? Looks like you've given up on life anyway!
Vulture Road Trip
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I went on a road trip with a vulture. It was going well until he insisted on picking our snacks at a rest stop. Let me tell you, roadkill jerky and dead mouse trail mix are not ideal travel companions. I guess I should have expected that from a bird with a taste for the macabre.
Vulture Therapy
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I tried vulture therapy. The therapist just circles around me, squawking judgmentally. I told him about my issues, and he responded with a disapproving screech. I thought therapy was supposed to be uplifting, not up-flapping.
Vulture Cuisine
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I tried cooking with vulture-themed recipes. Turns out, vulture stew isn't a hit at dinner parties. People were like, What's the secret ingredient? and I'm like, Well, it's not really a secret, more of a scavenger hunt in the backyard.
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