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The Practical Thinker
Questioning the Practicality of Valentine's Day
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Valentine's Day is like a conspiracy to make us buy heart-shaped everything. Heart-shaped chocolates, heart-shaped cards, heart-shaped pizzas. I'm just waiting for heart-shaped money – that's when I'll be impressed.
The Anti-Valentine's Day Rebel
Rejecting the Commercialism of Valentine's Day
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My friends asked me what I did for Valentine's Day. I said, "I rebelled. I stayed home, ordered pizza, and watched anti-romantic movies. That's my kind of rebellion.
The Forgetful Husband
Forgetting Valentine's Day
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I asked him why he forgot Valentine's Day, and he said, "Well, every day with you is special." I'm like, "Babe, nice try, but 'every day is special' doesn't get you out of buying flowers.
The Overachiever
Setting Unrealistic Expectations
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Her idea of the perfect Valentine's Day is basically a scene from a romantic movie. I'm just waiting for the director to yell "cut" and tell us it was all a big misunderstanding.
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