18 Jokes About Twitter And Facebook

Puns

Updated on: Aug 23 2024

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Why did the Twitter bird break up with the Facebook bird? They couldn't agree on the tweet-ment of their relationship!
Why did the Twitter user bring a pencil to the computer? They wanted to draw more attention to their tweets!
Why did the Twitter user become a gardener? They wanted to grow their followers!
Why did the Facebook user go to school? They wanted to improve their 'status'!
Why did the Twitter user bring a ladder to the computer? They wanted to reach the highest tweet!
What did one Facebook user say to another during an argument? 'Let's not make this a trending topic!
What did the Facebook post say to the tweet? 'You're so concise, it's like you've been edited for a magazine!
Why did the Facebook chef become famous? Because he knew how to stir up the perfect 'news feed'!

Twitter and Facebook

And then there's Facebook. It's like a high school reunion that never ends. Remember that guy you sat next to in third grade? Well, he just ate a sandwich. Fascinating, right?

Twitter and Facebook

You know you're in trouble when your parents start using social media. My dad just joined Twitter. His first tweet? How do I turn off this confounded Twitter machine? Classic dad move.

Twitter and Facebook

Twitter is where people go to express their deepest thoughts, but it's also where spelling and grammar go to die. If intelligence were measured in typos, we'd all be geniuses.

Twitter and Facebook

You ever notice how your Facebook feed is filled with people sharing their accomplishments? Meanwhile, I'm just over here celebrating the fact that I managed to put on pants today. Adulting level: expert.

Twitter and Facebook

Twitter and Facebook are like the odd couple of social media. Twitter is that friend who's always blurting out whatever comes to mind, while Facebook is the one who carefully curates their life to look like a highlight reel. I'm just over here trying not to accidentally like my ex's vacation photos from three years ago. Awkward.

Twitter and Facebook

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever noticed how Twitter is like that friend who's always trying to be profound in 280 characters or less? I mean, I can barely decide what to have for breakfast in 280 characters, and they expect me to solve world problems?

Twitter and Facebook

I tried doing a Facebook cleanse once. I deleted all my friends. Turns out, that just makes you look like the world's loneliest person. Zuckerberg probably sent a sympathy friend request.

Twitter and Facebook

Facebook is where your aunt shares 37 recipes a day, and you can't help but wonder if she actually cooks any of them or just stares at her screen surrounded by empty takeout boxes.

Twitter and Facebook

Twitter is like a never-ending cocktail party where everyone is trying to be the wittiest guest. I've tried joining in, but my tweets are less champagne, more like flat soda—no fizz, all disappointment.

Twitter and Facebook

Facebook memories are like a virtual time machine, reminding you of the embarrassing things you said a decade ago. It's like a digital version of looking at your old hairstyle photos and wondering, What was I thinking?

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