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My friend told me, "You should really take care of your soul." I thought, "Sure, I'll start by giving it a spa day." Turns out, souls are pretty picky about the temperature of their cucumber slices.
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You ever notice that your soul is like the backstage crew of your life? It's working hard behind the scenes, dealing with props and wardrobe malfunctions, while you're just trying to remember your lines.
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I tried to impress my date by taking her to a psychic. The psychic took one look at me and said, "I can see your future." I got excited, thinking she was going to predict something amazing. But no, she just handed me a mop and said, "You'll be cleaning a lot.
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I tried to have a deep conversation with my soul, but it kept getting distracted by cat videos on the internet. I guess even the soul can't resist a good cat doing funny things.
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You know, they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But have you ever tried looking through a dirty window? I mean, my soul must be due for a good Windexing!
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I asked my therapist if my soul needed therapy too. She looked at me and said, "I'm not sure, but your credit card definitely does.
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They say laughter is good for the soul. So, if my soul is on a diet, does that mean I should only have light, low-calorie laughs? I guess my soul is watching its figure.
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I tried meditation to find inner peace, but my soul must have been on vacation or something. All I could think about was how uncomfortable the floor was and whether or not I left the oven on.
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Ever notice how when you're trying to be healthy, your soul is all for it, but your taste buds are like, "Give me all the pizza!" It's a constant battle between the salad-loving soul and the pizza-craving taste buds.
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